amid a warm sunny day on a beach)
... Young Grasshoppa' and I do share an appreciation for candid conversations, and for blunt honesty. She may sugar coat her words (again, she is the nice one) but they are direct and truthful nonetheless. Love it.
Colleen: "Carole", said in her great forbearing tone. "You seriously need to do a giveaway on your blog."
Me: "Really? Give-aways? That's kind of ghetto, no?"
Colleen: "No way it's not! Look. Triathletes are cheap. And we love free shit!"
Ha. Spoken like the honest woman I know.
Okay, okay, you little maggots. So you love some free shit huh? Okay, I can get down with that. I'll spend more than 4 hours cutting coupons that will save me maybe $6.00 in the grocery store.... I understand being frugal.
So let's roll this puppy out!!!
GIVEAWAY!!
Contest runs through Thursday, January 26 - 11am EST.
The Giveaway?
CAN OF TRISLIDE -- value $16.20
What is TRISLIDE , you ask? Oh, horror.
If you're still using that archaic Body Glide shit, it's time to evolve to the upgrade, my friends. (And if I ever see any of you using PAM when putting on your wetsuits.... come here, this will only hurt for a second. That crap will ruin your expensive neoprene wetsuits! ). Once you try this product, I know from experience, you'll never use anything else again.
TRISLIDE is the ONLY anti chafing, anti-friction, anti blistering product found in a convenient environmental friendly aerosol spray. Gone are the days of goopy messy hands and contaminated sticks, the continuous spray application of TRISLIDE is easy to use and safe to share! Compared to others that may wash off, it is waterproof which means sweat proof! TRISLIDE is a liquid silicone based product that can simply be removed with soap and water, will not stain clothes, and is the most innovative product to prevent chafing, blistering, irritation, and hot spots found in swimming, biking and running. Available in a 4 oz can.
The Contest:
You need to tell me 4 ways in which TRISLIDE can be and is used. Authentic ways, people! If you tell me you use it to scrape the mud from the hoof of your Llama, you'd better submit a photo to prove you indeed have a llama.
Bonus points for the most creative answers. If you know anything about me, I like humor. If you make me laugh, you're likely to get bumped to the top of the winner list ... but it's gotta' be a REAL use! I think I am afraid to even read the responses from Matty-O !!! Gracious.
The person who submits the best four (4) ways to use TRISLIDE gets the can!
Contest ends January 26, at 11am.
Have fun, kids!
21 comments:
HA! You really lobbed this grenade out there huh?
Oh man, so you are telling me that the economy size pam can that I tote around in my tri-bag is bad? What if I want some eggs on the beach before the race start? Can I tri-slide my pan??? DON'T THINK SO!
Let's see... four unique uses for this magical lubricant?
#1 My truck door hinges were squeaking and rubbing the other day, so nothing that a can of Tri-Slide cannot fix.
>Grease the hinges<
#2 While we do not have a llama, we have Frank. Boxer/American Bulldog mix who loves to romp through the mud. I will Tri-Slide his paws prior to him going outside so that nothing sticks to his paws... this means, a clean floor, which means a happy wife... which means I live to see tomorrow.
>Keeps dogs paws clean, and Matt alive<
#3 It gets pretty sticky and humid up here in Ohio over the summer. As a male running... sometimes "stuff" sticks to your thigh. In an effort to be comfortable running, I will "unstick" stuff. So in an effort to not look like a pervert on the running trail, Tri-Slide can be used to prevent "stuff" from sticking to my leg.
>Twig and Berries lubricant to avoid looking like a pervert while running<
#4 We always keep cans of Tri-Slide in our night stands. This stuff is actually truly amazing in our bed room. Heather and I actually both benefit by using this!!! Just when things get stuck and it gets really hard and difficult to get it in, a good coating of this miracle in a can makes everything slip right into place with out a fight.
>Putting on winter running tights<
(PERVERTS!!! Minds out of the gutter!)
I am curious as to what other uses people have for this stuff. Will be checking back frequently. This can be like the 1,000 uses for duct tape.
No thanks... I usually include in my training program the intentional placing sand and pebbles down my shorts to build calluses on my ass.... therefore my other nickname that only a few close friends, my wife,and kids call me.
But if I must:
1) Unlike Matty O, we dont keep it by the nightstand, we need all the friction we can find. Does that count as a non 1?
2) Robert Palmer "Addicted to Love" video hair gel for his girls.
3) A revised version of mud wrestling lubricate.
4) Great for spraying on the handle bars of your competition at any race..
I vote MattyO as the winner already as I am in full on crying mode from laughing so hard especially after your introduction of giveaways as ghetto.....hilarious.
Here are 4 ways I have used tri-slide:
1) To spray the kids arms before I duct them to the chair so they don't move.
'Use TriSlide as a babysitting device'
2) When the jar of pickles is stuck most people bang the shit out it (broken glass hazard) or they run it under scalding hot water (burn hazard) but I just spray a little tri-slide and boom the jar opens
'Use TriSlide to open any sticky jar'
3) When I can't get the grill lit because the wind is blowing too hard for a simple lighter I bust out the tri-slide. Place match in front and shoot the tri-slide at it and boom a wall of flame and the grill is lit.
'Use TriSlide as its better than match light'
4) If your in high school and you want to attract the ladies just stick the bottle in your jeans and walk around. When they ask if you have a pencil in your pocket just say no silly its a can of trislide.
'Use TriSlide to start a conversation'
Oh...that's a fun question.
1-remember that YouTube video where the roommate covers the floor with butter while the other roommate is in the shower...that's always a fun time, and you don't end up with hands that smell like popcorn
2-In an attempt to be really fast at the pool, a friend...covered themselves in the spray. Not only did said friend slip a lot walking to the pool, but also looked like they had just gotten out of a tanning bed. Not only were they not faster, but the mental issues brought on by the life guards laughing at him made him slower.
3-a little bit on your little brother's mouth piece when he's being a shit is good for a laugh. I don't care that he's going through puberty and he can't control his hormones; it's practical jokes or a karate chop to the throat.
4-a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, but thanks to a very squeaky bed frame, I might as well have had spotlights and neon signs, or hell, sent out invitations to the neighbors. I think that one speaks for itself.
First off I hope its a NEW can and not the can you used on your lama because I've seen you use someone else's bodyglide on your face before.... A benefit not mentioned of tri-slide is that you don't get that gross factor that the person before you just applied it to their unmentionables.
Speaking of which, since you are the starving athlete type I'm going to enter as you so that you can win said can of tri-slide.
SHARPIE'S top 4 uses for tri-slide.
#4) Jeans shopping. If you had carried the product with you for a certain trip to try on clothing it may have prevented a certain incident in a dressing room.
#3) Its either tri-slide or a box of depends. The let it flow on the bike/run method of bathroom breaks can have some pretty significant issues later I would also stress that liberal application pre-race may improve your ability to walk, sit, stand, bend over, clean yourself, etc... That one can is just not going to enough though.
#2)Application to bike seat (see #3). As the person that had to touch your bike seat post-race I would also recommend application to the bike seat while you weren't looking. Will it sanitize, probably not, but couldn't hurt either...
#1)Conversation topic. Lets be honest you know you'd have a couple cans out around the house for discussion with the guys during those romantic dinners when you are attempt to woo, recreating your own version of The Bachelorette.
Dude: "Hey Carole, what's this tri-slide stuff"
Sharpie: "I spray it on my who-ha"
Dude" "... uh ...."
So there you go. Clearly you need a can for yourself :)
wow, you really are doing a giveaway.
I thought for sure that this was some Caroleque lure-in title and then sHAbam...there would be some sort of life lesson why nothing is ever really FREE.
Can I have you coach me too just so we can have these really deep conversations??
MUAH!!
You guys are cracking me up!!!!!!
I can't afford a treadmill, so I just spray Trislide on the wood floors in my apartment and run in place. Like running on a sheet of ice. As long as I don't break my neck, I'll be super fast come spring!
4 ways to use tri-slide you ask Sharpie? Well obviously it works fantastic for preventing chaffing when running. I thought I'd come up with some humorous ways to use it that may or may not be good ideas for using it.
1) spray on door handles when the kids are trying to get into the house and laugh when they can't get in. This could lead to at least 30 minutes of free time.
2) spray on toilet seats in public places and listen for the thuds, grunts and maybe crying.
3) Carry can on nightime runs or trail runs and if a wild animal or person tries to attack spray in the eyes and use as mace!
4) Use as lubricant on bottom of sled for supercharged sledriding experience (think clark in Christmas vacation).
Okay - that's all for now. Thanks for the laughs everyone!
I've watched like 50 GOP debates in the past few weeks and noticed many of the candidates and Republican audience members use TriSlide for a variety of reasons:
#1: Mitt Romney has been witnessed spraying TriSlide on his hair in place of the snake oil he usually peddlers! Easier to wash out.
#2: Rick Santorum will never use TriSlide because the Bible does not tell him to.
#3: It has been reported that Ron Paul sprays down his entire body with TriSlide so he can slip out of every question about his isolationist views on Foreign Policy.
#4: Both Jon King (CNN) and Juan Williams(FoxNews) were thankful that Newt chose to use some TriSlide when he bent them over on national TV. Apparently, Newt never extended the same courtesy to his ex-wife because she is still "chafed"!
OMG these are funny.. the comment "I can't afford a treadmill, so I just spray Trislide on the wood floors in my apartment and run in place. Like running on a sheet of ice. As long as I don't break my neck, I'll be super fast come spring! " is my favourite.
And let's not forget the taboo one that no one will mention, but me, of course...
The upcoming endorsement by one of our favorite sports celebrities... Jerry Sandusky
I'm pretty sure they use TriSlide on all the obstacles in that show "Wipeout"...and if they don't, they should b/c it would be even funnier!!
Colleen is so right. We cheap asses do love free shit. Even if I never use the tri slide I want it b/c it is free.
Uses:
1- lube the dog so his penis finally goes back in (this has been a serious problem in our house).
2 - spray all over the bowling alley lanes, grab a pitcher of beer and voila instant entertainment
3 - Next time I go to a hotel spray it all over the remotes and light switches
4 - it's somehow gotta work on camel toe.
Ok....since I am in vacation on Florida I had my husand bring a can of TriSlide when he came down 2 days after us.
#1- "Chunk Rub Prophylaxis" (no gutter minds...not prophylactic)... Heat, solid thigs, and a running skirt = chunk rub. Trislide between the thighs is a must ( have the chafe marks to prove it from the run I took before Tommy got into town).
#2- Underarm chaffing (sleeveless running hirt on said runs in Florida)
#3- When Tommy acts up, I "accidentaly" spray it in the bathroom....better than any banana peel, and helps keep him in line!
#4- spraying down triathletes in the "Pit Stop". It never gets old asking someone if you can spray them down with lube.
#4a- Spraying down the asphalt in transition...makes for an interesting race!
Dyinnnng above. I will never look at a can of trislide (or some of you guys) the same way ever again!
And since I know I'm not going to win, four words:
1. TRISLIDE
2. Slip
3. &
4. Slide.
Really though: I've legit used it to get off a too-tight ring after eating overly salty seafood. It's like magic!
I have one use and one use only....
1. Spray on Eric Opdyke's dome to keep is ever so shiny.
You can mail the can to....
Ashley Quinn
5885 Trinity Pky
Suite 120
Centreville, VA
TRISLIDE is f'n awesome!! Obviously it works excellent for athletic applications, but here are my additional 4:
1) Reduces your chances of dingleberries during your pre-race shit. The poo just wipes off!!
2) Sprayed weekly into your ears allows for the wax to be easily removed. For older athletes with ear hair, this is a similar application as #1.
3) Squeaky shit on your bike is annoying to everyone on a group ride. Spray it on bottle cage bolts ( not the cage itself dummy) or other parts. Works great at reducing the squeaky indoor ride as well.
4) You knew this was coming....personal lube! I'm married, but not dead, and neither is my wife. So instead of just spitting on it for personal lube, spray a little. Probably not to be used internally, but for those lonely nights away and skype with your significant other, TRISLIDE works 1000% better than lotion. Masturbation is healthy! Just ask your doctor, but don't forget the lube. And ladies, looking to polish the pearl?? Just grab the can! TGFT-Thank Goodness For TRISLIDE.
SLAP! That was the sound of you crackin' me good. Not only do I use "PAM", but I'm so cheap that I used generic PAM. Ha! I blame it on me being a newbie -_-.
With all of these ideas, I've got nothing. But, I do have one idea:
I think Trislide would helpful in assisting with the expression of dogs' anal glands. Anal glands? Yes, they are "scent glands" located just inside the anus of dogs and cats. Sometimes they need manually expressed if not done voluntarily.
Needless to say, being a Registered Vet Tech I've had my lubed finger up more dogs' bums than I care to admit.
1. Door knobs on public bathrooms
2. The boss's pens
3. Vinyl seats in a 1983 plymouth reliant
4. Leather pants the morning after
I have had the opportunity to use Trislide. IT IS THE BOMB!!!!
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