There is a woman I have affectionately dubbed “Crazy Lady” who lives a few doors down. She’s prone to social missteps and is now known for her inaudible attempts at sentence structure in order to convey her thoughts. Oh, and don’t get me started on the beehive hairdo and wool knee socks worn with sandals… Oye!
Crazy Lady homeschools her 10-year old kid, whom I’ve naturally dubbed “Crazy Spawn”. I’ve made numerous attempts to befriend Crazy Spawn, as I have a cordial, waving hello relationship with a few of the other kids on the block. Many of them play outside during the daytime and they’re good kids.
Against my better judgment and intense dislike of crazy, her kid has been playing in my yard lately. Yesterday afternoon after school, a bunch of the kids played with sidewalk chalk. I stayed out there for a little bit to make sure everyone was getting along. They were playing hopscotch and hangman, thankfully there was no plotting to overthrow their parents or planning a coup to take over the neighborhood. After about half an hour I was bored out of my mind and had to go inside to make dinner and left a few of the good kids in the next door driveway with Crazy Spawn. An hour later, I went outside to take a look at the chalk drawing progress. Take a look at what my bulged out eyes saw! I confronted a few of the good kids who said that Crazy Spawn had drawn the picture and he had identified all the body parts for the whole neighborhood. Lovely.
In the middle of that picture, do you see the reason for my eyebrows to be almost off the top of my forehead? Still not sure? Let me show you a little closer.
Still not totally sure what you're looking at there? Hmmmm. How about this one?
My first thought upon seeing this drawing was that the chalk lady had some massive boobs. Then I noticed she was headless. Then I happened to notice she was also either a transvestite or perhaps a hermaphrodite.
For Real?
The sidewalk chalk has now been retired. I had to hose down the driveway before any of the other neighbors saw the porn and got scared.
I feel dirty.
11 comments:
whoa. Crazy spawn has some issues.... WTH. I don't think I could have gotten the hose out fast enough!
Wow - serious issues. Thankfully my daughter just does flowers and hearts and clouds and stuff on my driveway.
Brings back memories when my eldest had some friends over about 6 years ago and they decided it would be cool to put penises drawings on our street in gasoline and light them... You can imagine the fun we had trying to remove that.
Obviously, we didnt have his friends over any more..
Interestingly enough, my password to post this is "pubing"..... hmmmmm
That is scary funny! Makes one wonder what kind of "homeschooling" is going on in that house!
I don't know whether to laugh or shake my head. Ok, I'll do both.
Soooo maybe I have some odd picture recognition... but looking at the last picture you posted... I see a dog's face. The "arms" are the ears, the "boobs" are the eyes and the "glory hole" the nose and mouth.
Just saying... maybe you are the perverted one and the kid actually drew a dog face? ;) hahahahahah.
Ok, so I'm here at my desk at work and trying so hard not to laugh out loud but my chest is heaving and my eyes are watering and my nose is leaking.
WTF is that all about. With a name like Crazy Spawn tho...this is par for the course. HAHAHAHA! Sidewalk porn, not something you see every day.
Holy crap! That is, um, disturbing!
If it makes you feel any better, we have a neighbor we just call Crazy. He's certifiable. About 6 weeks after he moved in last year, he got into a screaming match with me and my now-husband, throwing F Yous at us, threatening my husband with a hammer, etc. He's about 5'7" tops, super wimpy, and my husband is a 6'3" former college football player. When hubby went calmly across the street to talk to him, Crazy started going completely psycho, acting really tough and going, "Come on! Let's go!" with an aggressive arms-out fighting posture (hopefully you can picture what I'm trying to convey). My husband looked at him, laughed, and said, "This will not end well for you" and walked away. HAHAHA!
I guess there's one in every neighborhood, huh?
Ah... well they obviously had an anatomy lesson that day in home school. And it seems like Pamala Anderson and Chaz Bono were the two people that cracy lady decided to use as instructive diagrams! Hahaha...
oh my...crazy lady has some messed up junk
Haha! I loved the what that you documented the 'art'. Crazy ass kids. :)
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