Thanks to everyone who played the contest game .......... I think we will all agree that the comments were hilarious -- and lots of folks were coming by just to see what others had said. LOVE IT. This contest blog had over 600 hits in two days. Not even remotely close to what my favorite blog of all time was getting before it went to cyber heaven (come back, FUPenguin!) but a pretty good showing for a small-town country girl like me. (kidding - I am all CITY, and all Lovin'!)
I would be remiss if I failed to mention ......... dang I have some FUNNY blog friends!!! You guys are awesome.
Before we get to the winner........I need to throw out a laugh for my loyal readers. I try very hard to not post videos unless REALLY funny. (Or at least I find them funny!)
Many of you have seen this before but I have not been able to stop watching this, repeatedly, for the last few weeks. I laugh hysterically EVERY TIME even though I have seen it going on ninety times.
You're going to love this. And yes, I am very immature. This is the stuff that collapses me into belly laughter. :)
(Warning: Extremely inappropriate language so choose viewing environment with care!)
Okay. The Contest.
< drumroll, please ........... >
I found this extremely difficult. It brought me back emotionally to my years spent as a high school teacher. (Didn't know I used to be one? Scary, isn't it? ME in front of the youth of America... God help 'em!)
I wanted EVERYONE to win and didn't like having to select who was "better". I love everyone! (gag)
For future contests I probably won't be so nice.... but for this one, I couldn't help it - we have more than 1 winner.
The winner(s) of TRISLIDE.... go to......................
ONEHOUR's use of TriSlide on the handlebars of competition at a race was not only genius, it made me raise my eyebrows to consider returning to competition! Had ONEHOUR given me this great tip a few years ago, I would have beaten Bella with the surprise "TRISLIDE Handlebar Attack" and won that F*ing Ironman! :) ... ONEHOUR also backed it up (no pun intended) with the great Jerry Sandusky comment. Gross - but a creative use of lubricant.
* Cook Train Eat Race
For the reminder that guys in high school have enough room in their shorts for a 4oz can. Cook's suggestion that a high school kid stick the bottle in his shorts could change modern dating for teenagers around the globe... "No, silly, it's a can of TRISLIDE!" Hilarious. Having the can in one's shorts amid the unexpected mid-day stiffy might be uncomfortable, but he will manage. He's grateful he'll never be subjected to a Pap Smear. Now that's uncomfortable.
For leaving more questions than answers with "lube the dog so his penis finally goes back in" ..... ?? First I laughed, then I scratched my head a bit in confusion, then I laughed again. ShutUp should provide some photos of this. Some things we all simply should see.
Sidebar question: shouldn't the penis always be out? I admit I lack a lot of personal experience to evaluate this conundrum, but similar to "laces out" in football, isn't the penis EXTERNAL, therefore, like a nose on a face, always out? Understood it grows and shrinks (so I've been told via Seinfeld's "I WAS IN THE POOL!!") - but always "out" regardless, right?
Anyone who has to stick her finger up the ass of an animal deserves to win ANY contest she enters! Enough said. (Plus we've gotta get Homegirl OFF the Pam!!)
Though very funny, answering questions as someone other than yourself (i.e., ME) results in disqualification from contest. Lee has way too much personal information on me. *wink* (But thank you for playing!)
I think we all agree... f'ing hilarious. But as the spouse of a TRISLIDE sponsored athlete, Matty-O is ineligible for contest prizes. (but thank you for playing!)
Use of political fire to validate the need for TRISLIDE was a deft maneuver. Clever, and reminded me to avoid Foreign Policy debates at all costs. Due to Jeff's personal affiliation with TRISLIDE he too is exempt. (But thank you for playing!)
And there we have it, Kids.
All winners please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org so you may collect your prize.
This was more fun than I expected .......... I will be brewing another contest in February.......... so stay tuned.......