Take That And Like It

Dang. I was going to try to write this post entirely in one-letter words and abbreviations, but alas, that sh*t proved too hard.  But, as losers tend to say, can't win 'em all!  And so allow this loser (ahem) to reintroduce today's latest debacle: "Kiss my @ss, Walgreens and Others."

It was one of my recent routine mornings when I wake up and want Percocet sprinkled on my high-fiber cereal.  Day 4 of flu with fever and I decided to call in the reinforcements.  My throat was so sore I couldn't swallow anything - I tried to take a huge swig of OJ and it went down so long and hard even Heidi Fleiss couldn't relate.   So, I called what I thought was my Walgreens to ask whether I had any refills left on a prescription or whether I was going to have to order it from Canada online.  Anyway, the clock hit 8 a.m. and I made the call (PS -- I relish in how shady this sounds), very much unprepared for the salty little man-bitch on the other end.

Me: Hi, is this the pharmacy?

Man-Bitch: Uhhhh....yes. What is it?

Me: Oh, well sir, I was wondering, please, if I still had a refill left on my prescription...

Man-Bitch: Uhhhh...you know we just opened. I’m busy.

Me: [as politely as possible] Well, I know you just opened, thank you. My plan was to call when I knew someone would be there, i.e. when you opened...

Man-Bitch: Listen. I have work to do. You’re going to have to call back. [Hangs up.]

"Work to do?" I thought, as I tried to reconcile how helping out a paying customer did not qualify as "work to do" for a Walgreens pharmacist. "I will see this guy in hell before he hangs up on me again." And so I called back.

On the second go this stupid man-bitch was finally able to spare a literal minute of his precious time to help me, even though his help ended with him telling me that, in fact, I was the stupid bitch because I called the wrong Walgreens (zoinks!).  While I admit "my bad" in this situation for not double checking the number before calling, I still think such ridiculously rude customer service on his part was uncalled for.  And so, instead of hanging up and finding the correct number myself, I made this now smarter-than-I man-bitch provide me with the correct number, which he did after much huffing, puffing and unnecessary attitude.

But lest you think the rest of my morning was spent in prescription drug-induced splendor (it’s all legal, I swear!), there was yet another issue with which I had to deal -- the payment.  When I did go to pick up my prescription at the correct Walgreens in Boulder (I have two refills!), the (actually very friendly) pharmacist said, "That’ll be $107.99."

Really?   Can I at least get that with a bit of K-Y?