HILARIOUS.

Today I heard probably the funniest thing I have heard in my life.  Man, it was so great.

I was running along a dirt trail in Boulder this morning.   At one point I heard the fast charging footsteps behind me from someone approaching who was clearly outrunning me.   The path was wide enough so I really didn't need to move over, but my heightened senses tuned me in to the footsteps and noises behind me as I prepared for the flying cheetah to go by.  The footsteps were closing in...  I then heard the pedaling noise of a bike, and then the voice of a man, "C'mon, pick it up.  You're running like a girl!"

I sort of smiled to myself at the comment as the woman ran by me (with her male friend pacing her on the mountain bike next to her).  I was lucky enough to hear her response.  She was clearly annoyed with him, I could hear it in her tone.  She snapped back, "Well if you could run faster, so could you!"

*LAUGH HYSTERICALLY!!!!!!!!!*

Oh my GOD.  I burst into laughter when I heard her say that!!  Good Lord.  That is the greatest response I have ever heard...   I could not stop laughing for several minutes.  So much so that I had to stop running and catch my breath from laughing so hard.

Man I am going to remember that line.  I can't wait to be able to use it someday....

This one will keep me entertained for the rest of the day.  I wanted to share it with you to hopefully bring you a good laugh, too.

Cheers!

sunsets...

Mmm....  look at this from last night

Impressions...

Ok.  Since you crazy people seem to enjoy things much more about my personal life, I'll try to start including more of my antics that seem worth telling.    Who can really blame you for enjoying the funnier anecdotes more than the mundane training talk; even I agree the retelling of one's training day gets a bit old: 

Today I swam.  Then I ran.
Tomorrow I'll bike for a while and then run for a while.
The day before that I biked.  Then ate the entire side of a steer...

Blah blah blah...

Let's get to some better stuff...

A couple weeks ago I guess I had a date.  First of all, what quantifies as a "date".   We just met for a drink - is that a date?   I don't know.  Does it really matter?   I'm not sure I know what else to call it.  Should it be described as: I met some random dude for yet another setup?   Somehow that sounds pathetic. 

In any event, a drink was had.   

Now, before this starts sounding like I am a supreme male basher - let's face this matter squarely:  I LOVE MEN.   Truly, I do.  My entire life I have always had more male friends than female and as a general rule I typically enjoy the company of men more than women.  There are exceptions to this rule, of course, but in general - men rule.   Men are simple and what-you-see-is-what-you-get.  There is typically very little drama and very little game playing.  I have also been incredibly lucky to have dated some exceptional guys in my life.   I somehow do not have a single horror story; all of my relationships have lasted several years, all of my ex's have been smart, good looking, charismatic and successful... and my closest male friends are all as good as it gets too.  I have nothing but affection for men as a species.  :)   I think that is in large part why I am still single - I have been been lucky to have been treated so well in every relationship I've had (friend or boyfriend) that I am quick to sift through shit I don't want.

When you've never driven anything but a Mercedes since you first owned a car and someone says, "Hey, want to try out this mediocre Dodge Dart?" .... ummmmm, no thanks.  Not really. 

So if it seems like I am ever male bashing, I assure you I am not.  I think men are fabulous!

What I DO do is call situations like I see them.  I retell the story as it is - penis or vagina notwithstanding.  :)

So * mister date* and I had a drink.... conversation was... ummmm, well, it was ok.  Nice guy but our connection wasn't such that I thought either of us was chomping at the bit to see one another again after we'd said goodbye.  That's not a slam at him or at me - a connection involves two people; it's "chemistry".  Either it's there or it isn't -- and I am pretty good at knowing pretty quickly what's what.

"There is no way I will hear from that guy again", I remember saying to JZ and Lara.  I was pretty sure he wasn't over the moon with me either.  And that's ok.  That's the point of meeting people, no?  Some you hit it off with and some you don't.  No huge revelation there.

Well... maybe he was drinking a glass of wine with someone else, or maybe he felt vibes that clearly I didn't, but I was downright SHOCKED to get a voicemail the next day asking me out.   C'mon. Was he SERIOUS?   We had like zero chemistry!!!!   What was wrong with him??  :)
(Intuition: 0  Blindsided: 1)

Then I didn't know what to do.  I have never been one who has wasted a man's time by using him as time filler.   I wasn't really psyched to see him again but I am also not too good at essentially rejecting someone who is nice enough (and demented enough?) to want to spend time with me.  How do you turn down a date offer without hurting someone's feelings?

"You need to go out with him again!", Lara counseled.

"Why?"   I was eager to hear my smart and sassy Stanford Law Graduate's perspective on this one.

"Because!  Maybe he just gave the wrong impression. Give him another chance, just one more", Lara says.

"Uggg.  But counselor, the jury is IN!"

"Just go", Lara encourages.

Ok.  Much as I trust my gut and my instincts, I'd want someone to give me another chance if I wanted one.  So.... ok.  Let's give this thing another shot.  Maybe my review was hasty. ? 

He asks if I want to see a movie.  (Perfect - I won't have to talk to him... kidding... kidding!)  
So I suggest  we go see 'A-Team' and tell him it's gotten great reviews.

He seems surprised at my suggestion and then says, "I just don't see you as an 'A-Team' kind of girl.  You seem so demure."

HUH???!!!!!

I almost fell out of my chair at that.  !!!  I have been described as many things in my life but DEMURE is certainly not one of them.   Did he pay attention at all to me??    Hilarious.

So I, of course, shoot a text to JZ, Lara and Billy about this.  They had to hear his assessment of me. 

Carole: "Dude doesn't think I can handle A-Team because he thinks I am demure. LOL."

The responses they sent were the best.

Lara:  JZ once went out with a guy who called her "charming".

JZ:  A guy called me "charming".  People see what they want to see.

What I laughed at was both of them remembering the 'charming' comment.
But then Billy brought it home with the best response.

Billy:  Chick who wants to see A-Team = super hot or wants to score.  Both good things.

LOL!!!!! 

So, I texted back to my little friend:  "Demure, huh?  You are in for quite a surprise..."
Indeed he is.

You can take the girl from TIMEX.. . .

. . . But you can't take TIMEX from the girl!!!!!!

Not long ago my former Team, my beloved Timex, came trolling ;) through Boulder for a Timex Training Camp. The whole team couldn't make it in, but many of the athletes did, and I was honored and touched to have been invited to join their weekend o' fun. I was not in any athletic shape to do their 120 mile ride through the mountains of 10,000ft elevation, but I decided to join them for their warmup (1 hour for me). Plenty. :)

6:45am. I was the first to arrive at Amantes Coffee Shop in North Boulder - the meeting spot for the team. I was walking up towards the entrance when all of a sudden I heard screaming and a honking car, and people shrieking, "Shaaaaaaarrpieeeeee!!!!"  Good Lord. :)  I turn to see Trista Francis, Tim Hola and team mgr Tristan Brown spastically waving from the moving Timex Car.

I just shook my head and laughed.

Within minutes the others began rolling in: Will Kelsey, Erin Kummer, Laura Tingle, Eric Bean, Denny Meeker, Christine Anderson, Jackie Arendt, Juli Fiocca, Barry Siff...

Any slight nervousness I had about how the team would feel about me being with them for their "team weekend" was immediately erased as everyone tackled me. (!!)   I was greeted by warm hugs, kisses and enthusiastic hellos. It felt like putting on that favorite pair of old, comfortable jeans that you'd put away for the summer. When you grab them again and put them on, they fit just right, and you realize these are your favorite jeans in the world and you'd DIE if you ever ripped them.  Plus they make your ass look great. :)  Everyone was as happy to see me as I was to see them, which warmed my heart - in a very real sense, I was seeing my family again . . . and it felt like this:


ha!

Chatting with Christine and Jackie, with Tim and Eric in the background:

Surrounded by a team who still very much feel like my family:

I love that this picture is right under the phrase "An Italian Experience" .  You know it, baby!    And "Amante" - it's loose translation in Italian is to be fond of, or a lover of.    Most apropos, indeed!

Props to the Timex Dad, Tristan Brown.  He drove the support car (he just wanted an excuse to come to Boulder - but who wouldn't if you live in Wisconsin?? Ha...)  ..... plus provided his usual tireless encouragement and support for his troops.   He also helped maneuver the Timex car in such a way during the ride so I could squat & pee with a bit of privacy ... but that's another story...

 
So it was bittersweet and lovely (a combination!) to be around these beautiful people who all mean so very much to me as former teammates on a notoriously close team - but also because these people are my friends.  I've missed seeing everyone ... and it was great to be in the circle again.   I love you, my Timex Family!

There are only two things on the planet that could have ripped me from the folds of that team.  Truly, only two things, indeed:

1.  Charlie Patten.  Period.   This visionary man behind the Rev3tri series, and Trakkers, lured me in to help bring Trakkers (the company and the team) into the limelight.   You only have to meet Charlie one time to understand why everyone respects him so much, and why we all follow him anywhere he tells us to go.  While he is my boss, more than that over the last 5 years he has become one of the greatest friends of my lifetime ... and I often tease him that I have never felt such loyalty for a man I am not romantically involved with.  : ) ha.  His family is like my own, and I appreciate more than anything that sense of belonging he has brought back to my world.

...and the second reason.... being so sentimentally attached to the Timex Team, I didn't think I could feel such genuine affection for anyone else.  I am incredibly grateful to have been wrong.
The Green Team, this awesome, enthusiastic, character-filled, hilarious group of AMAZING people continue to make me proud to be just a small, small part of them.
I mean, seriously, look at us!!:

Really??   Who wouldn't want to be a part of THIS???!

2. The second reason, Team Trakkers.  They are probably the only people who could keep me from Timex.... and this is the greatest compliment I could give both teams.

"Me minus you is such a lonely ride.... reunited .... and it feels so good!"

Musings . . .

Recently I found one of my old journals written the months before I moved to Santa Monica, California post-college. Eager to review the thoughts I had at that time, I slid under a soft blanket on my comfy couch and poured through its contents for 2 hours. My perspectives, observations and desires amid my early 20’s were amusing, but more than that - often my words were … enlightening. One of the things that struck me was that I was truly navigating life with a compass pointing towards excitement about what was to lie ahead rather than melancholy about what I was leaving behind.

Later I let this concept swirl in my head as I sat on my balcony amid the evening’s crisp night air; I thought about the person who once inhabited my body fifteen years ago.

From time to time we all encounter things (obstacles, sadness) in our life that we don’t like but cannot change. I struggle with these things mostly because I tend to be a very process-oriented, success-oriented person. If something is going on that I don’t like, I fix it. I figure out how to make it better. The problem is, sometimes there really are situations over which you have no control. Sometimes, it boils down to this being the hand you’re dealt and you simply must learn to make the best of it.

And so I do. Or I try to.

Therein lies the struggle: I am not a “make the best of it” type of person. I am a vibrant, passionate person who lives by the MSH motto. (MSH = make shit happen.) I am not good at all with the paralysis of a situation of being able to do nothing. My personality has never been do nothing. My spirit has never, ever been passive. I'm Italian. :)

(If you haven't noticed this about me before now, I justify/explain just about everything in my life with "I'm Italian" regardless if it even relates to heritage or not. I love meatballs: "I'm Italian". I love red wine. "Yes, I'm Italian".
I like to ride bikes. "Well, yes, I'm Italian". I love the ocean. "Of course. I'm Italian". I hate to do dishes. "I'm Italian!" You get the idea . . . . )

A few days after reading my journal, in my attempt to evade a day of melancholy (thinking about what I cannot change and have to "make the best of"), I spent the better part of the day going 90 mph. I did almost every errand or activity in rapid succession. I did my reset run in the morning, making sure my last ten minutes were full throttle. I bolted through the grocery store, covering every aisle and paying for my half full cart all in less than 20 minutes. I responded to emails that were collecting mold in my inbox, my fingers flying across the keyboard. I mailed packages and letters that were stacking up in my office. I went to a follow up doctor appointment, driving fast, running late from trying to cram in one more thing on my way. I got my oil changed and even got my vacuum repaired.

At about 4pm I realized what I was doing.

And then I wondered how often I really must do this: avoiding things by trying to keep myself over-occupied. (All the time!)

I thought, subconsciously, that by going at warp speed I could potentially outrun my emptiness. But that is just like trying to out-swim a wave. It will either catch and carry you, or it will swallow you. The ocean is no match for mortals, and neither is emptiness. But, if you surrender to the wave, you will find that you can float.

I think as athletes we can be particularly susceptible to the misguided notion that we can outrun things by picking up the pace. This may be good race mentality but it’s terrible for the long distance training run called life.

Later I forced myself to be still, to surrender. I sat on my balcony as I looked up at the mountains. These evening moments on my balcony are becoming my true sanctuary – similar to what I felt when I lived in Santa Monica and would watch the sunset from the beach. The water will forever be my ultimate calming agent, but I have found a similar reaction to the majesty of these beautiful mountains that surround me.

I took in deep, forceful breaths… and then I wanted to write. I wanted to ask all of you if you were trying to outrun anything. Rhetorically, are you trying to go 90 mph so you don't have time to see or feel whatever it is that you don't want to deal with? Do you think that your speed will save you?

Where are you struggling to surrender?

Tigger Punching Kid at Disney World

This story goes back a couple years ago, but hilarious nonetheless... Apparently Tigger the Tiger was accused of hitting a child while posing for a photo. As usual, give me a story and I'll find a way to enlarge it 3x its size! :)

"Naturally, physical altercations between cast members and guests are not tolerated", said a spokesperson for Disney.

A few days following the incident, the boy’s father, Jerry Monaco, told The Early Show co-anchor Hannah Storm, "At that point he started bumping into me and I apologized and I figured it was hot out and give him some space. At that point I backed off and went to take some home video of the rest of the family and, out of nowhere, he sucker-punched my son."

This could not be any more different than the relationship I had with my father. Here you have Jerry Monaco content with going on “The Early Show” to tell the world that his son was beat down by the palm of a soft, furry paw at The Happiest Place on Earth. My father would have pulled us apart, taken me to the side and had a talk with me. He would have said, “I don’t know what just happened there, but this sort of thing is unacceptable.” Then he would have handed me a small box cutter, saying, “Now go back in there and finish what he started. I'm not raising a GIRL here. If someone attacks you, take them down!” Then he would have probably taken bets from the crowd, likely against me.

(Sidebar: Explains a lot about me, doesn’t it, that my father intentionally “didn’t raise a girl” ... but I digress, back to the abusing tiger... )

But you know the weirdest part about this whole thing? I’m not surprised at all that the big cat finally lost it. I always pictured Tigger as a loose cannon. He became increasingly hyper and strung out, seemingly always on the verge of snapping. Even Goofy, whose demeanor is defined by crazy, unpredictable behavior, never came off as out-of-control as Tigger did, with his small, unblinking eyes. If Mickey Mouse ran his family with a firmer hand, you imagine Tigger would have been handled like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas.

Back when I lived in Los Angeles, I worked for Warner Bros and, coincidentally, Disney. Knowing a little something about “The Industry”, if I were in Disney PR, I’d view this as an opportunity. Here’s how I would spin it:
Tigger is on drugs. Tigger uses crack and meth. He is a troubled tiger who made some mistakes and is in need of help. They could even say he was molested as a cub to drum up sympathy. Then take him out of circulation at The Magic Kingdom for a few months. Send him to rehab. Put him, Christopher Robin, Pooh, Roo and Eeyore on an episode of A&E’s “Intervention.” Piglet could break down in tears saying, “You hit a kid, Tigger! You’re out of control!” Cross-promote it, make a big deal out of it – peel back the façade of perfection that Disney World has portrayed for too long now. Ratings would skyrocket!

Then in July, at the height of tourist season, reintroduce the clean, newly rehabilitated Tigger. He could go around the park carrying a Poland Spring bottle, posing for pictures while fake-punching kids and telling them to stay off drugs. He’s Disney’s real-life comeback story: a walking, talking embodiment of the idea that even though the world can be a hard, cruel place, in the end friendship and cheerfulness will triumph. Send him on Larry King, Jon Stewart and Oprah, where she can show flashbacks to his lowest points and he can choke up while saying, “I was a different tiger then.” It would be the best thing Disney has ever done with itself!

(I’m really embarrassed by how much I am laughing to myself about this post...! I crack myself up. Is that bad? Man, the space between my ears is a strange, strange place! *smile*)

Why I train.....

Some people train for their own self gratification, the accomplishment, seeing the results of their hard work come to fruition.    I’ll admit those things have always partially fueled my fire, but that stuff just doesn’t seem to do it for me in the way it used to.  Something about my approach to all of this is different now… something about me is different now. 

I think the biggest compliment in the world is having people come to you for advice or counsel.  It shows they value your opinion, they think you have something to contribute to their journey, and shows they have a pretty high level of trust in you.  For whatever reason(s), a lot of my very close and dear friends seem to be in a level 5 crisis right now.  Or perhaps it has always been this way and I am simply more attuned to it?   I’m not sure I know the answer to that but I do know that I am feeling the weight of some pretty significant struggles: a miscarriage, a divorce, abuse, a child diagnosed with leukemia, a suicide.  I feel the weight of the heavy heart of my friends not as a burden, but as a privilege… to walk beside someone you love as they struggle, to urge them forward another step while reminding them they can do it, to me this is the demonstration of friendship.

People talk about friendship… but to me friendship is a verb.  How do we act, treat and behave?    This got me to thinking…

The biggest way we can help those we love is by having already helped ourselves. This means we are supposed to deal with our own stuff, tidy up our own lives and our own hearts.  We are supposed to work at being "fit" in all capacities (spiritual, mental, emotional, physical), and not simply because it is an end in itself, but because we are in a constant state of being made ready.  If we are fit, in every sense of that word, then when someone we love needs us, we can make a difference for them.  In that way, and in many others, every hill is a metaphor…we trudge up it knowing that we may be called upon to carry someone else up it the next time.  In this manner and for this reason, we work hard to be stronger, fitter, faster, more agile.  Fitness has a purpose far beyond vanity, beyond even good health, beyond egocentric race results when a person is trained to think of it in these terms.

"You cannot always do something to help your friends, but you can always be something to help them…", is a line from a devotional written by a woman named Bertha Munro.  That just about sums it up for me.   That’s it.  That’s why I train, right there.  Thanks, Bertha.  I don’t train because I want to be able to do things (run a faster 5K, win an Ironman, make someone eat my dust on a trail…though those things aren’t bad….).  I train now because I want to be someone better than I would be if I didn’t train.  I need to train so I can be fit.

If someone I love is faltering, I want to be the kind of woman who can haul some ass; I want to be first on the scene.  I want to be strong enough to carry some of his/her burden along with my own.  I want to have a clear head and a clear heart, so if I am asked for advice I can offer wisdom instead of mere opinion. If my big opportunity arises to serve, I want to be ready.  If it takes more out of me than I anticipated, I want to have endurance.  If the terrain suddenly changes, I want to be steady.  If someone I love looks at me with eyes full of fear, terrified that they won’t be able to finish whatever happens to lie ahead of them, I want to look at them, wordless, with unblinking eyes that assure them that there is no way that they won’t.

That, right there, is why I train.

Rev3 Quassy... and "We're having a baby!"

Yet again, a Rev3Tri event has stepped up to the plate .... once again this race answers the cry from the athlete to be an athlete driven event -- and Rev3 delivers!   This series truly does it bigger and better than anyone....    I continue to be so honored to work for this company.  They really care about this sport and the athletes; I am privileged to work for anyone with such a description.

We even had Team Trakkers Aid Stations at this race!

 We were the first aid station of the run course for Saturday's Olympic

and Mile 29 of the bike course for Sunday's Half.   Holy mole... at the risk of sounding unbiased... Trakkers ROCKED THE HOUSE with these aid stations!!!!!!!!     The "Green Team" was loud, enthusiastic and utterly obnoxious --- the perfect combination needed for ideal aid stations.

 My rental car had come equipped with Sirius Satellite Radio -- so we cranked that sucker to "total 80's" ..... we were all dancing and rocking it out to all the nostalgic jingles as we screamed for the athletes.   Such fun!

After the race there was a massive buzz generated about "the Trakkers aid stations" and how awesome they were.

 I was pleased to hear that, and was not surprised, because that team COMPLETELY stepped up with tons of energy and enthusiasm for the race.    It takes a lot of personal energy and spirit to give of yourself like that (especially when you are racing your own event on the opposing day! - which almost all of them were) ...but they didn't care about their own race, they cared about others.   That group makes me so proud.   These people really are such a wonderful, unselfish bunch.   I am honored to get to be even a small link to their AMAZING chain...

A couple weeks before I left for Rev3, my close Boulder friends, Lara and Billy let me in on a special happening.  After one of Jane's Sunday Masters, I wandered over to Walnut Cafe to join Billy and Lara for breakfast.

Billy:  Can you keep a secret?

Carole:  (Shooting Billy a look like he asked if I knew oxygen was needed to breathe..)  Dude, I'm Italian.  My entire Italian-American heritage is based on secrets kept!  I know where bodies are!   (kidding...)

Lara: I'm pregnant...

Within .3274 seconds I lept about 3 feet into the air and pretty much dove over the table to hug her, and then hugged Billy.

Carole:  This is AWESOME!   Congratulations!!!! 

Billy:  You can't say anything - we're not going to tell people for another couple of weeks...

Lara:   Joanna and Mark know though.  You can talk about it with them.  :)

Naturally, I responded as anyone would:
Carole:  WHAT??  You told JZ and Mark before me????!!!!!!!!!!!    I said laughing.  (I was kidding, of course..)

Lara:  We just told them last night - you're right there, Sharpie.  :)

As I wandered back home from Walnut Cafe, I called JZ.
Carole:  "We're having a baby!!!!!"  I screamed into the phone!

JZ:  Well we're not having a baby....

Carole:  Oh yes we are!!!   Just like WE got a puppy, WE are having a baby!!  :)

JZ:  Funny...  yea, it's great news....

Here is a pic of Billy and Lara with "our" dog, the beloved Bogart:

 ...and a fun memory of Lara and I doing 24-hour tri together (and winning our division, beating all the male teams but one!  Ahem...)

 Congratulations Billy and Lara!   Aunt Carole is looking forward to corrupting another youth of America...
xoxoxo.

Clarity

Clarity comes to me like this: I want to be living my life in such a way that if I knew my expiration date, I would continue on, living just as I am. I wouldn’t want to have some grand epiphany, an impetus to change everything, or a sudden desire to travel the world and leave my normal life behind. I want my normal life to sparkle with the allure of the ordinary and speak to me just the way it is.  Or if there are some changes to be made, I want to be motivated to incorporate them as I go along.  If I want to travel and explore, I want it to be because my heart is ticking, not because my clock is.  I want to be brave enough to say the important things like "I’m sorry, please forgive me," and "I love you, please help me love you well."  I want my heart to be tidy.

Why is it then, knowing what we know and thinking deeply the way we do, that we all need a wake up call (either our own or the sound of someone else’s over the loudspeaker of life)?