I wish I could write that things are coming around... I know eventually they will.. but so far, I fight on.
After my freak show from Thursday that I wrote about below, I was really excited to get a last minute visit from my longtime friend, Regina Ansueto. She drove up from her home in Frisco (just outside Vail) Thursday night and we shared a bottle of wine on my balcony while staring at the mountains, chatting about life, laughing and breathing in the crisp Colorado night air. Heaven.
The next morning we had coffee and I was treated to a private Yoga session. Gina is a renowned yoga instructor in Colorado take a look ; we wandered down to the private studio in my condo community center and she zen'd me into total peace. Normally my spastic nature and impatience can't handle yoga. It's too calm. :) But Regina's soothing voice and insistance that you stop rushing and stay in the moment was powerful for me. "Clear your mind. Think of nothing. For this moment - JUST BE".
I don't think I've ever been able to completely think of nothing. Ever. My mind is an out of control whirlwind, always at work, always spinning... In that moment with her I was completely calm. Nothing in my head. It was awesome.
We wandered back over to my place, shoveled down some breakfast and then took off for a 3.5h ride. Thankfully we were both happy to have a "social" ride. I wasn't able to muster much else. My energy was quite poor (again).
Saturday (yesterday) was swim and long run.
I slept until almost 9am on this morning? VERY rare for me as I am always awake by 6am - latest. I must have needed it and just allowed my body to rest. I went to FAC to swim by myself today - no Masters. I needed to get in 3k to continue with my 20k quota, so I got in and just did the laps.... feeling, unfortunately, no better than any other day.
Dave (Scott) was in the next lane doing his own workout. About 30 min into my workout we were both stopped at the wall.
Dave: "You're swimming better today."
Carole: "Not really..."
Dave: "No? You look better."
Carole: "That's because I'm wearing a two-piece, Dave. Your eyes are elsewhere" :)
Dave: <laugh> "Oh, is that it?"
Carole: "Can't tell the difference between my boob or gut though, can you?" :)
Dave <LAUGH!!> "That's funny..."
I got through my 3k and then suited up for my intended 2 hour run. By 1:20 I was walking every so often, and just felt listless. I didn't feel tired. I didn't feel that "training fatigue" that you feel (and that I can certainly recognize) when you've been training a lot and your body is wiped. I just didn't have strength. It feels almost like anemia but not quite that bad. So, I cut the run at 90 minutes and inhaled my beloved First Endurance recovery drink and food products as if my life depended on it.
So - today. Sunday.
I swam Jane's 10am Masters. It is a 90 min practice and I intended on doing 5k, leaving me only 2k for tomorrow to complete my 20k quota. Cooper and Leanne were in my lane (or I was in theirs) and I lost track how many times I was lapped. Again, nothing. I slugged through 4k but had had enough. I got out at 75 min and wandered into the locker room with my head held low.
I scarfed down breakfast and head out to meet Leanne for a ride. I warmed up with her for about 30 minutes of chat time, and then we separated so she could do her intervals. I'd planned for a 3-3.5 hour ride but an hour into it I just was flat... so I rolled back home with a little more than 2 hours done.
Who knows what's up. Something seems up. But maybe not. Mono is going around Boulder so I'm going to get tested for it over the next couple days. I seriously doubt I have mono (I don't have a fever or anything) - but I'm going to rule it out.
Krebs thinks my body is just adjusting to training again after 3+ years of inactivity. He thinks all of a sudden I'll just spring back to life with accelerated fitness. His theory sounds good to me, so we're going with that. :)
In any event.... fight on I am!
I'm sure everything will come around....