"The Poop in the Pool Incident of 2009"

After my bidet story, you are going to start to think I have a fetish for things related to the butt. I can't deny that I find these things incredibly funny, but I am a well-rounded individual. I find other things funny, too ..... perhaps not as much though. :)

So... the poop in the pool incident of 2009.
OH LORD - what has happened NOW??

Let me start by highlighting the dynamics of our training pod of 4.

Billy is a Marine. Everything about him screams MARINE --- except he has the softest, sweetest side more than any "I can break your neck with my bare hands" Marine I have ever known. Having grown up near the Naval Academy, and gone to college not far from Camp Lejeune, I have known my fair share. Billy is steady, calculated and normal. (Normal in the idiosyncratic way of being normal. If he really was "normal", we all wouldn't fit as we do. Billy definitely has his funny quirks that will no doubt be revealed on my blog from time to time.)

JZ, Brandon and I are beyond immature. We each find potty humor incredibly hilarious. Any mention of a joke or story to include poop, or the act of pooping, will collapse us in belly laughter. We always point out to one another that we are so embarrassed by what we find funny.

Billy definitely keeps us all in line and rolls his eyes at us at how stupid we are. We love to tease Billy -- watching his face grimace and his eyes bug out when we mention anything "homosexual" is hilarious. His reactions to things are usually what spur us on to continue.

So, what happened? On Christmas Eve, Mark & JZ picked me up en route to Matt and Kelly Reed's holiday party. There was a huge spread of food and yummy treats. Kelly did an awesome job hosting the evening. In one bowl of food contained a pile of black potatoes --- I had never seen anything like this before. Unless you looked closely, it looked like a bowl of poop. No lie. I grabbed one of the potatoes in a napkin and showed it to JZ, saying, "Put this on Mark's side of the bed!"

She laughed. "Oh my GOD. What is THAT?"

"I have no idea, it's in the bowl". I pointed to the kitchen table.

Everyone in the circle said they were potatoes and talked about how much they looked like real poop. I then started to laugh myself senseless and told JZ I was going to keep one of the potatoes until Billy (and Lara) got back from VA and Brandon got back from CA --- and I would put it in the pool during our next swim session. Joanna thought the idea was hysterical, adding "put some corn on it!" LOL. Yuck! :)

Yesterday was the first Saturday our pod of 4 was back together for swim workouts. I discreetly dropped the poop-like potato in the pool (think Babyruth from "Caddyshack" movie) and it sunk to the bottom like a heavy turd. IT LOOKED SO REAL!!!!!!!! JZ popped up when she saw it, cracking up!!!! I could not stop laughing as I was swimming, I was snorting up water, everything, waiting for Brandon to see it.

When Brandon saw it, JZ and I LOST IT!!!! Brandon was hovering over it, scrutinizing, looking at it like a scuba diver hovers around a coral reef of unrecognizable fish. He popped up and screamed to us to take a look at the poop in the pool! Oh my G O D!!!!!!! We were laughing so hard!!!

"It's a potato!" I screamed, and told him I had planted it. When Brandon figured out what we were saying, he absolutely LOST IT with laughter!!!!!

"That is the FUNNIEST joke I have ever seen!" he laughed.

Billy hadn't yet seen it, he was in another lane. We grabbed it and planted it near him. Typical Billy, he was unfazed. Just looked at it and sort of kept swimming! ??? This dude has seen it ALL in the military world. Think poop in a pool would deter him?? Nope. He just kept right on going. THIS made us laugh, too. When we told Billy it was a potato, he just looked at us and shook his head like we were the most idiotic people on the planet. (Aren't we?)

We are so immature. :)

I think we all needed that laugh because JZ gave us yet another f'ing hard-as-shit swim set that trashed us all.

Happy 2009 to everyone. Keep finding the humor in things, friends. We all have to get up every day so we may as well find something to keep us laughing, and keep us from taking ourselves too seriously....