Sorry to have been lax with the updates. I've been waiting for something seemingly noteworthy about which to blog, and though something cool or interesting happens each day, often times they tend to just be details of the day and nothing I think anyone would be interested in. But since it's been a while since I've written anything, I thought I'd just review the details of today.
My most faithful companion of late has been Brandon DelCampo... I love this crazy amigo of mine!
So today... weeeeshhh. Brandon talked me into swimming at FlatIrons at 10am Masters. BDC doesn't wake up early, so 10a was the plan. "We'll ride after we swim", he said. About 9:20a I mounted my valiant steed and biked the 7 miles to FAC.
I am so out of shape that I actually swam in BDC's lane (!!!). A 7-month pregnant Monica Byrn was in our lane, too ... the girl was dusting us, pregnant! I kept laughing to myself that I was going to make up a ton of ground when she flipturned but dang she just kept flying. She was totally unfazed by that baby belly. To make matters worse, soon enough Brandon was in front of me, too. Good Lord. If B is ahead of me, I KNOW I'm seriously outa shape! :)
I got out after 2.5-3k (11am) and went to stretch, do some PT and return some phone calls during the 'expected' 15:00-20:00 I would be waiting for Brandon to finish his swim. At 12:05pm I was STILL in the lobby waiting for his ass. Where was he???? Normally I am fairly patient but I was STARVED and wanted to get the ride done with. Finally B comes out, having been chatting with Monica after practice and declares, "I'm bonking. Lets go eat!" Thank GOD. As we're walking out, he runs into a friend... of course my motor-mouth BDC has to stop, and he chats for 15:00!!! I am sitting outside waiting... Monica chats with me for a few before heading to her car .... finally I am hungry and PISSED.
I go back into the gym and interrupt their conversation, seething, "I'M GOING TO EAT MY F'ING ARM OFF!!!"
"Sharp, I'm so sorry - just go to my house and eat something, I'll be right there."
His poor friend probably thought I was a maniac but I didn't care. We have all been there when we have gone too long without food...
Impatiently, I headed out, fully intending on eating everything in his fridge and hopefully leaving him a gift in his toilet, too. :) As I begin to pedal, I hear him calling my name... he is on his bike, pedaling fast to catch up... "I'm so sorry... we got to talking"... whatever! :) "It's fine, honey, I just need to eat", I say. :)
Brandon is serious about making up and says, "You've been waiting all morning for me. I am buying breakfast at Walnut Cafe and then we'll ride."
We refill bottles, load up at his house, and bike a mile to Walnut Cafe. When we get there we see Matt and Kelly Reed at a table outside. They motion to us and we quickly snag a table behind them .... chat chat chat .... still hadn't ordered .... chat chat chat .... then all of a sudden we see Billy Edwards and Lara Cooper arriving. They see us and come over to join our table. "Can we join you? Have you guys ordered yet?", Lara asks. "NO!!!!!", I scream! :)
Chat, chat, chat.
I get a text from JZ that she felt good at Buff Springs 70.3(her foot has been a serious issue lately, but thankfully seems to be resolved. The beeyotch ran 2min faster than ever on that course, with relatively little run training) and I relayed the message to the group.
Kelly and Matt take off.
Finally, we order. Good LORD. :)
We all inhale breakfast and then Lara heads out for her flight to Austin.
Billy, Brandon and I ended up staying at Walnut Cafe and chatting for over an hour... so we were there forever....
The 3 of us then bike to Billy and Lara's place so Billy could get his road bike and join us.... Once we're there, of course, we dilly-dally and fart around.
Finally we head out on our 2-hour ride after 2:30pm....remember this ride was supposed to get going at 11:15am. I sit on their wheel... the two of them chatting without any breathlessness as I struggle to maintain their super-easy pace.
They were being nice and trying to make me feel good by occasionally saying, "You're riding well, Sharpie!", but my back was really hurting and soon enough they pulled on ahead.
I pulled into the garage at home at 5:09pm. I had been gone since 9:20am and had only trained for 3 hours total!!!!!!! It wasn't really a 'wasted' day because it was fun hanging with people and just chatting away the day ----- but I was gone ALL DAY and did nothing to really show for it. So not like me with my structured self...
An hour later Billy calls and says to get ready, he and the "McDonald brothers" (yes, the Aussie's staying at his place and training) were swinging by to pick me up for dinner.... we meet Brandon and Cicely .... and stuff our faces with all-you-can-eat pasta on Pearl Street, and laughing hysterically during dinner conversation.
That was the busiest day where I have ever done so little in my life! :)
June 29, 2008
June 13, 2008
June 12, 2008
It is WINNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDYYY!!!!!!!!! in Boulder!
I am not complaining... I'll take 80 degrees with no humidity, even with gale force winds, any day over the east coast summer scorcher-fest.
Still, it has been a bit scary... the winds have been GUSTS, howling and everything blown all about.
Today my day began with a 2k swim, per boundary set by Bob. I am allowed to swim up to 2k, but I have to do all open turns. Ggrrrr. I never realized how disruptive open turns are to consistent swimming. I encourage anyone who hasn't yet learned how to do a flip turn to absolutely invest in this process. While, true, there are no open water turns in triathlon, there is a swim in triathlon - and flip turns are very helpful to the flow of your swimming stroke in practice. I am fully realizing this now that I can't do them.
So, it was only me and another swimmer in the pool at FlatIrons. It was so windy out that stuff was being blown into the pools! Not chairs but anything on deck that wasn't too heavy - flip flops, kick boards, pull buoys, etc. Normally that pool is pretty busy so it said a lot that it was empty at 9am.
I then did some PT exercises before heading up to the ellipticals to do a session with JZ. She snagged 2 right next to each other, wanting specific ellipt machines. These ellipt's were fancy-schmancy. They hooked onto your feet and could replicate a stairmaster or various ski moves if you weren't precise with your footing. JZ felt this machine in particular really helped her running. I was falling all over at first trying to get a feel for it, being overly dramatic of course, while Joanna and I chatted it up. I made her laugh when I told her I had put her name on my emergency contact for Flatirons membership, and wrote "lover" under the relationship description. :) Nick in membership laughed hard when he saw that.
After my swim and ellipt, I met my friend Matt Given for lunch at Walnut cafe, a trendy little hole-in-the-wall restaurant close to Pearle Street. I had met Matt almost 2-years ago wen we were both guest speakers for a function. Coincidentally he was on the same flight as me (1 row in front, too) from Kona to Phoenix after I had the accident, and he and his stepson were very helpful helping me get off the plane and to my connection flight. When you can barely walk and can't use either arm it's amazing how limited you can be. :)
This was the first time Matt had seen me since the plane ride and he said, "Well you look A LOT better!" I laughed at that. "Shit, could you imagine if I didn't?", I replied.
I then jumped on my bike for my 1 hour bike .... with the winds being what they were it was a hang-on-for-dear-life fear fest. A few times the winds were so stiff I was barely, BARELY, moving forward, and then they'd zing me with a cross wind that would blow me into traffic. Yikes.
Then it was a few hours of work. 15 minutes ago I got a text from Stoner (Michael Stone) telling me to come over at 6:30 for grilling. I love having friends as neighbors. It has been years since I have been able to join friends for dinner and just walk to their place. I don't even wear shoes... I just walk on over in my socks. :) Stoner is such a good buddy I usually don't even shower if I hadn't yet. "Sharps, I could stand to be less of a good buddy", he says. :)
Fish tacos for dinner, looking at the mountains from his spacious deck.
I feel so lucky to be here in this place. Place = Boulder .... or place = with these people.
I am not complaining... I'll take 80 degrees with no humidity, even with gale force winds, any day over the east coast summer scorcher-fest.
Still, it has been a bit scary... the winds have been GUSTS, howling and everything blown all about.
Today my day began with a 2k swim, per boundary set by Bob. I am allowed to swim up to 2k, but I have to do all open turns. Ggrrrr. I never realized how disruptive open turns are to consistent swimming. I encourage anyone who hasn't yet learned how to do a flip turn to absolutely invest in this process. While, true, there are no open water turns in triathlon, there is a swim in triathlon - and flip turns are very helpful to the flow of your swimming stroke in practice. I am fully realizing this now that I can't do them.
So, it was only me and another swimmer in the pool at FlatIrons. It was so windy out that stuff was being blown into the pools! Not chairs but anything on deck that wasn't too heavy - flip flops, kick boards, pull buoys, etc. Normally that pool is pretty busy so it said a lot that it was empty at 9am.
I then did some PT exercises before heading up to the ellipticals to do a session with JZ. She snagged 2 right next to each other, wanting specific ellipt machines. These ellipt's were fancy-schmancy. They hooked onto your feet and could replicate a stairmaster or various ski moves if you weren't precise with your footing. JZ felt this machine in particular really helped her running. I was falling all over at first trying to get a feel for it, being overly dramatic of course, while Joanna and I chatted it up. I made her laugh when I told her I had put her name on my emergency contact for Flatirons membership, and wrote "lover" under the relationship description. :) Nick in membership laughed hard when he saw that.
After my swim and ellipt, I met my friend Matt Given for lunch at Walnut cafe, a trendy little hole-in-the-wall restaurant close to Pearle Street. I had met Matt almost 2-years ago wen we were both guest speakers for a function. Coincidentally he was on the same flight as me (1 row in front, too) from Kona to Phoenix after I had the accident, and he and his stepson were very helpful helping me get off the plane and to my connection flight. When you can barely walk and can't use either arm it's amazing how limited you can be. :)
This was the first time Matt had seen me since the plane ride and he said, "Well you look A LOT better!" I laughed at that. "Shit, could you imagine if I didn't?", I replied.
I then jumped on my bike for my 1 hour bike .... with the winds being what they were it was a hang-on-for-dear-life fear fest. A few times the winds were so stiff I was barely, BARELY, moving forward, and then they'd zing me with a cross wind that would blow me into traffic. Yikes.
Then it was a few hours of work. 15 minutes ago I got a text from Stoner (Michael Stone) telling me to come over at 6:30 for grilling. I love having friends as neighbors. It has been years since I have been able to join friends for dinner and just walk to their place. I don't even wear shoes... I just walk on over in my socks. :) Stoner is such a good buddy I usually don't even shower if I hadn't yet. "Sharps, I could stand to be less of a good buddy", he says. :)
Fish tacos for dinner, looking at the mountains from his spacious deck.
I feel so lucky to be here in this place. Place = Boulder .... or place = with these people.
June 10, 2008
OW Swim at the Res
I am so bummed! I forgot to bring my camera - and there were such awesome picture opp's, too!
Tonight Simon Lessing and Monica (Caplan) Byrn were leading an open water clinic for the 5430 race series sprint scheduled for this upcoming weekend. Barry (5430 series RD) asked if I would mind coming to lend a hand in case there was an overflow of people; he also asked my friends Justin Daerr, Mark Van Akkeren and Brooke Davison to help out - so this would be SO MUCH FUN! At 5:30p I biked on over to the Res for the 6pm clinic (a 5-mile bike from my front door... damn I love this no-driving thing in Boulder!). I didn't count but there looked to be about 100 folks there for the clinic? Awesome. I was in the group with Simon and Justin; Mon, Mark and Brooke were in the other group.
It was a great clinic with good jokes mixed with informative stuff for the athletes as they prepared for their sprint race. We worked on wetsuits (getting in/getting out) and then the swim entry/exit into the Res, plus all the swimming advice stuff with sighting, swimming form, etc... Simon was pretty funny and was a trooper getting into the cold water (62 degrees) and swimming out and back, out and back (etc) with our group. I was rooting people on and critiquing from the dock. Much warmer that way. :) Justin disappeared for a quick bit and all of a sudden he popped up out there helping to guide athletes from his kayak. I laughed at this and yelled out to him, "Good job, Justin. Way to work that kayak!" He held his paddle in the air and laughed...
We were there until after 8pm. A great evening. Simon and Monica did a great job, and our little group of "assistants" were FUN. I tell ya, Brooke is a RIOT!
I was planning to bike back home but Marky V kindly offered me a ride. As we chit-chatted we both kept pointing ahead... with the sun setting, we noted portions of shine peaking through the mountains, casting shadows and illumination in equal portions. It was just breathtaking.
Mark said, "There's no place else I want to be but here".
I smiled and could only agree.
Tonight Simon Lessing and Monica (Caplan) Byrn were leading an open water clinic for the 5430 race series sprint scheduled for this upcoming weekend. Barry (5430 series RD) asked if I would mind coming to lend a hand in case there was an overflow of people; he also asked my friends Justin Daerr, Mark Van Akkeren and Brooke Davison to help out - so this would be SO MUCH FUN! At 5:30p I biked on over to the Res for the 6pm clinic (a 5-mile bike from my front door... damn I love this no-driving thing in Boulder!). I didn't count but there looked to be about 100 folks there for the clinic? Awesome. I was in the group with Simon and Justin; Mon, Mark and Brooke were in the other group.
It was a great clinic with good jokes mixed with informative stuff for the athletes as they prepared for their sprint race. We worked on wetsuits (getting in/getting out) and then the swim entry/exit into the Res, plus all the swimming advice stuff with sighting, swimming form, etc... Simon was pretty funny and was a trooper getting into the cold water (62 degrees) and swimming out and back, out and back (etc) with our group. I was rooting people on and critiquing from the dock. Much warmer that way. :) Justin disappeared for a quick bit and all of a sudden he popped up out there helping to guide athletes from his kayak. I laughed at this and yelled out to him, "Good job, Justin. Way to work that kayak!" He held his paddle in the air and laughed...
We were there until after 8pm. A great evening. Simon and Monica did a great job, and our little group of "assistants" were FUN. I tell ya, Brooke is a RIOT!
I was planning to bike back home but Marky V kindly offered me a ride. As we chit-chatted we both kept pointing ahead... with the sun setting, we noted portions of shine peaking through the mountains, casting shadows and illumination in equal portions. It was just breathtaking.
Mark said, "There's no place else I want to be but here".
I smiled and could only agree.
June 8, 2008
The beauty of Boulder
Way too much has been happening... I'll try to hit some highlights.
I had my first session with JZ's physical therapist, Bob Cranny. I have seen so many people for help with my back that I'm sure you can appreciate my reluctance to feel enthusiastic for any new professional on the team. With that said, I truly believe that at SOME point, someone has got to come along who is able to fix me. That is not an intended slam against any of my caregivers. Each person I have seen has given me every ounce of their energy and knowledge ... they have helped in every way they knew how, and no one could be more grateful to have their continued vested interest than me. But the fact remains, I am in worse condition, so something isn't working. I don't know what, but my progressive slope is in the negative.
I'll probably write at greater length about Bob in another blog; it seems we'll be working together indefinitely. (Thank goodness!) In short, I will say this: Bob's initial analysis included movements no one had yet asked me to do, and something about this approach seemed very different. Every person has done different things - but his stuff was REALLY different. He concluded with several paragraphs worth of findings - but the most dramatic, AND DIFFERENT, was that I am actually hyper-mobile in my back. At one point I was on my stomach and he held my lower back stable with one hand, and lifted my hip with the other.
"Do you see this?", he asked, "This is not supposed to happen. I should not be able to shift your hip backwards like this". With this condition in mind, he viewed all the exercises and stretches I had been given and sighed heavily for me as he told me that almost every one of them would actually worsen the condition.
AMEN!!!! I almost wanted to cry when he said that because I had thought I was CRAZY thinking I was worse, but he promised me I would be given what I had been doing. When our appointment was over, he hugged me and said, "We'll fix this, Carole".
uggg...
Friday night I had dinner at West End with Billy Edwards, Lara Cooper, Michael Stone and Mark Shenk (JZ's hub). We called JZ from the table to wish her luck at Eagleman and told her we missed her lively personality from our dining.
We also ran into a "very happy" Jon Robichaud in the bar who was celebrating his birthday with great enthusiasm. :) He kept saying, "I'm so glad you're here, Sharpie" but in his condition I think he would have said that to anyone. :)
Happy birthday, Jon!
Yesterday morning I met my teammate and friend, Laura Tingle, and her bf Denny Meeker at Amantes. Denny headed on for his run while Ting and I enjoyed some chat over java. Denny lives 2 blocks from me, so I know we'll all get to hang quite a bit this summer...
Will keep trying to post some updates. Some things are in the works - I'll keep reporting in... :)
I had my first session with JZ's physical therapist, Bob Cranny. I have seen so many people for help with my back that I'm sure you can appreciate my reluctance to feel enthusiastic for any new professional on the team. With that said, I truly believe that at SOME point, someone has got to come along who is able to fix me. That is not an intended slam against any of my caregivers. Each person I have seen has given me every ounce of their energy and knowledge ... they have helped in every way they knew how, and no one could be more grateful to have their continued vested interest than me. But the fact remains, I am in worse condition, so something isn't working. I don't know what, but my progressive slope is in the negative.
I'll probably write at greater length about Bob in another blog; it seems we'll be working together indefinitely. (Thank goodness!) In short, I will say this: Bob's initial analysis included movements no one had yet asked me to do, and something about this approach seemed very different. Every person has done different things - but his stuff was REALLY different. He concluded with several paragraphs worth of findings - but the most dramatic, AND DIFFERENT, was that I am actually hyper-mobile in my back. At one point I was on my stomach and he held my lower back stable with one hand, and lifted my hip with the other.
"Do you see this?", he asked, "This is not supposed to happen. I should not be able to shift your hip backwards like this". With this condition in mind, he viewed all the exercises and stretches I had been given and sighed heavily for me as he told me that almost every one of them would actually worsen the condition.
AMEN!!!! I almost wanted to cry when he said that because I had thought I was CRAZY thinking I was worse, but he promised me I would be given what I had been doing. When our appointment was over, he hugged me and said, "We'll fix this, Carole".
uggg...
Friday night I had dinner at West End with Billy Edwards, Lara Cooper, Michael Stone and Mark Shenk (JZ's hub). We called JZ from the table to wish her luck at Eagleman and told her we missed her lively personality from our dining.
We also ran into a "very happy" Jon Robichaud in the bar who was celebrating his birthday with great enthusiasm. :) He kept saying, "I'm so glad you're here, Sharpie" but in his condition I think he would have said that to anyone. :)
Happy birthday, Jon!
Yesterday morning I met my teammate and friend, Laura Tingle, and her bf Denny Meeker at Amantes. Denny headed on for his run while Ting and I enjoyed some chat over java. Denny lives 2 blocks from me, so I know we'll all get to hang quite a bit this summer...
Will keep trying to post some updates. Some things are in the works - I'll keep reporting in... :)
June 5, 2008
Welcome Home
The transition from spring to summer happened in Atlanta just as I was leaving. It was a humid, nasty 91 degrees the day my friend Dana dropped me off at the airport.
When I landed in Denver it was rainy and 67 degrees - it was actually a welcome respite from the sweat-fest I had just left.
My good friend, Regina (in the picture), picked me up at the airport - all 30 bags and a huge bike box of me. I don't know how the two of us managed to get all those bags, plus my HUGE coffin of a bike box in her relatively tiny Saab, but we did it. Watching the two of us shove and pull bags from various leverage points of her car, both of us cussing and laughing simultaneously, was QUITE the sight. We got all kinds of stares curbside at baggage. I swear the two of us together are Thelma and Louise. :)
Finally we got it all in her car - jam packed without any mirror vision available - and sped out of there like we stole something.
As we drove I called JZ's husband, Mark, to get directions into Boulder to avoid all the toll roads. (Men always know the directions!)
He answered his phone to say, "Hello, Carole. Welcome home."
I sighed and smiled when he said this and instantly felt that warm, fuzzy feeling when you hear something that brings you absolute comfort. I later thought to myself that those words were probably the most perfect to have ever said to me, and how reassuring they were to hear amid embarking on a new adventure full of unknowns.
I am lucky to be living with the funny, smart and scrappy, Diane Soucheray, who quite possibly is more outgoing than me. ? I think I am living at a resort and not a home. ? The pic is from the front of her house; you can see I am right at the base of the foothills, miles of running trails stretching as far as the eye can see. Her home is also 3 miles from the Rez, with backdrops from each angle that could be used for postcards. JZ and Mark live a little over a mile away; better still, my good buddy Michael Stone lives, literally, about 50 meters from the front door. His home is the next block over, so it has been FUN to wander on over to bug him when I need him to fix my bike, refill my wine glass, or just listen to my latest joke. :)
I'll try to post more regularly, and include some of the awesome happenings and sights. My social agenda has literally exploded, so these blogs may finally contain some good stuff (and quality dirt!). I notice everything, and I'm not afraid to write about it. :)
Cheers from Mile High Country!
June 1, 2008
Stupid is as stupid does....
Patrick Dowd (owner of All3Sports) once observed and stated, years ago, “Carole is like Jan Ullrich - she races herself into shape”. I thought it was an astute observation on his part, and an accurate one.
Each year my season has been depicted by this consistency: as the months go by and as I race more and more, my relative fitness increases. Substantially. The last races of my season are always the strongest. Not too hard to comprehend but I’ve often marveled at athletes who race strongly all year. This has never been me.
True to form, I decided to jump into the Macon half (on May 31) right before I left for Boulder. I knew I hadn’t been training, I knew I wouldn’t have too much of a respectable day… but I felt I needed to rip the proverbial band-aid off to start making something happen with my training, my fitness, my body… etc. I also wanted to support my friend, Jim Rainey, who’s been the RD for this event for years.
I know that more often than not, great things result from threatening challenges. But I also know all the stupid things I have done in my tri career. Oscar Wilde once wrote that when man does a stupid thing, it is usually “for the nobles of reasons”. Only truth can be this clear.
I had no nerves or anything at the start, but that wasn’t too concerning – worse, however, was that I had absolutely no fire. When the gun went off I just about walked into the water with no sense of urgency. I watched my good friend, Dan Moss, put a massive gap on me in the swim, and I only laughed as I was unable to catch him. Dan is an awesome cyclist and runner – but he sucks as a swimmer. : ) If he was dusting me… man, this was already bad. : ) Even he would agree to that.
I think I came out of the water 3 min behind the lead swim pack. Actually, that’s probably better than I should have done. As I mounted the bike and rode along the hilly 56-mile course of Macon, Georgia – my pace was sluggish. I normally fly over rollers. Today I labored up hills and slight inclines that did not look too tough.
Since I was clearly not moving with any superior speed, I did the one thing I have never done in a race – I talked to people. : ) I talked with everyone; anyone who went by me or hung near me, I would say hello, encourage them, I even struck up conversations with some. There was no haste to my effort, often I stood out of the saddle to stretch my growing back discomfort… and by mile 40 I knew my goose was cooked. The back was not good and I pedaled with great anticipation for mile 56 to arrive so I could be done.
As I coasted slowly into T2, Dave Phillips was right there, having just completed his aquathon. He saw how I was hurting as I put on my run shoes and told me not to be stupid, to pull out if I needed to. I was moving at slug pace. Mile 1 was 8:19. Mile 2 was 9:26. I made it to mile 6, but then decided to call it a day. This was doing nothing for my fitness, and was likely doing damage – at least to my psyche if not my body.
I do not like to DNF races. This was my career 3rd DNF and I hate that. I like to finish what I start, even if I am walking or crawling. It shows respect to the day, the sport, and my fellow participants. Just because I am not winning or doing well doesn’t mean my struggle has no merit. I am used to having an incredible will to transcend pain, discomfort, and anything that will prevent me from finishing. However, on this day, it just seemed ridiculous to keep going.
I was relatively fine after the race (mentally). I knew the deal going in, and I’m not really sure what I was trying to accomplish. Would Deena Kastor run a marathon with 30 miles of training run volume in her legs, with no long runs and no fitness – just to “get going” again? Ummm, no. Funny how these things make sense when they’re not you.
Physically the pain was no worse than it always has been when I have attempted a bike ride… on this day I was just stupid enough to try to run a half marathon off the bike, untrained.
Towards the end of the bike I had made some decisions:
I never, ever want to go into a race again injured, out of shape, or anything close. The race was unsatisfying for me. In past races when I wasn’t as fit as I could have been (racing myself into shape), there was purpose in the struggle, the drive beneath the fight... and I always had at least some fitness going into it. That's a key point. On this day I had absolutely no aerobic capacity. I’m not saying I should have, I’m simply saying I saw the reality of how bad this is. Other than my back, nothing hurt all day – I was just tired. Racing myself into shape requires some benchmark level of fitness going in. I had nothing. I'll never do that again.
I also acknowledge I got careless over the last 9 months. I’d gained sixteen pounds since October, and I can tell. On a macro level, my inattentiveness has hurt me. Fitness aside, I was 20:00 behind where I should have been off the bike simply from the weight gain.
All of this would be so much easier if I just didn’t give a shit. But I do.
The next time I write I’ll be in Boulder. I am so excited to shake my life up a bit, and see what’s behind door number two.
Cheers.
Each year my season has been depicted by this consistency: as the months go by and as I race more and more, my relative fitness increases. Substantially. The last races of my season are always the strongest. Not too hard to comprehend but I’ve often marveled at athletes who race strongly all year. This has never been me.
True to form, I decided to jump into the Macon half (on May 31) right before I left for Boulder. I knew I hadn’t been training, I knew I wouldn’t have too much of a respectable day… but I felt I needed to rip the proverbial band-aid off to start making something happen with my training, my fitness, my body… etc. I also wanted to support my friend, Jim Rainey, who’s been the RD for this event for years.
I know that more often than not, great things result from threatening challenges. But I also know all the stupid things I have done in my tri career. Oscar Wilde once wrote that when man does a stupid thing, it is usually “for the nobles of reasons”. Only truth can be this clear.
I had no nerves or anything at the start, but that wasn’t too concerning – worse, however, was that I had absolutely no fire. When the gun went off I just about walked into the water with no sense of urgency. I watched my good friend, Dan Moss, put a massive gap on me in the swim, and I only laughed as I was unable to catch him. Dan is an awesome cyclist and runner – but he sucks as a swimmer. : ) If he was dusting me… man, this was already bad. : ) Even he would agree to that.
I think I came out of the water 3 min behind the lead swim pack. Actually, that’s probably better than I should have done. As I mounted the bike and rode along the hilly 56-mile course of Macon, Georgia – my pace was sluggish. I normally fly over rollers. Today I labored up hills and slight inclines that did not look too tough.
Since I was clearly not moving with any superior speed, I did the one thing I have never done in a race – I talked to people. : ) I talked with everyone; anyone who went by me or hung near me, I would say hello, encourage them, I even struck up conversations with some. There was no haste to my effort, often I stood out of the saddle to stretch my growing back discomfort… and by mile 40 I knew my goose was cooked. The back was not good and I pedaled with great anticipation for mile 56 to arrive so I could be done.
As I coasted slowly into T2, Dave Phillips was right there, having just completed his aquathon. He saw how I was hurting as I put on my run shoes and told me not to be stupid, to pull out if I needed to. I was moving at slug pace. Mile 1 was 8:19. Mile 2 was 9:26. I made it to mile 6, but then decided to call it a day. This was doing nothing for my fitness, and was likely doing damage – at least to my psyche if not my body.
I do not like to DNF races. This was my career 3rd DNF and I hate that. I like to finish what I start, even if I am walking or crawling. It shows respect to the day, the sport, and my fellow participants. Just because I am not winning or doing well doesn’t mean my struggle has no merit. I am used to having an incredible will to transcend pain, discomfort, and anything that will prevent me from finishing. However, on this day, it just seemed ridiculous to keep going.
I was relatively fine after the race (mentally). I knew the deal going in, and I’m not really sure what I was trying to accomplish. Would Deena Kastor run a marathon with 30 miles of training run volume in her legs, with no long runs and no fitness – just to “get going” again? Ummm, no. Funny how these things make sense when they’re not you.
Physically the pain was no worse than it always has been when I have attempted a bike ride… on this day I was just stupid enough to try to run a half marathon off the bike, untrained.
Towards the end of the bike I had made some decisions:
I never, ever want to go into a race again injured, out of shape, or anything close. The race was unsatisfying for me. In past races when I wasn’t as fit as I could have been (racing myself into shape), there was purpose in the struggle, the drive beneath the fight... and I always had at least some fitness going into it. That's a key point. On this day I had absolutely no aerobic capacity. I’m not saying I should have, I’m simply saying I saw the reality of how bad this is. Other than my back, nothing hurt all day – I was just tired. Racing myself into shape requires some benchmark level of fitness going in. I had nothing. I'll never do that again.
I also acknowledge I got careless over the last 9 months. I’d gained sixteen pounds since October, and I can tell. On a macro level, my inattentiveness has hurt me. Fitness aside, I was 20:00 behind where I should have been off the bike simply from the weight gain.
All of this would be so much easier if I just didn’t give a shit. But I do.
The next time I write I’ll be in Boulder. I am so excited to shake my life up a bit, and see what’s behind door number two.
Cheers.
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