Funny. My friend, Kristen, recently sent me this quote:
"Men are like parking spaces. The good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped".
I laughed at that.
This weekend I rode at the Bud Plant with a group of ATS folks. The group was doing 65-miles and I decided that would be a good distance to do.
Soon enough there was a split, with a faster-paced group flying on ahead. With my current level of fitness I knew I couldn't maintain that kind of effort for another 3+ hours so I stayed at the same pace with 5 other guys.
I will definitely say that one of the nice things about being a woman in this sport is, since there are such fewer women than men, the women are usually well protected during rides. Certainly this depends on the men with whom we're riding and how important their training day is, but I have rarely ever done a ride where the men don't look out for me (or the other gals) in a very safety-conscious capacity. This day was no different... I was at the back of their pack for most of the miles, doing all I could to hang on in my very out-of-shape condition. Continually the guys looked back to be sure I was still there, and several times waited or looped back to pull me back to the group.
I always smile at this, how well taken care of the girls tend to be. For my part I'll always try to keep the rides lively, and will predictably stroke their ego's as a form of gratitude... "How lucky am I? Getting to ride with 5 handsome men??" I will sing (off key) and make jokes ... I like to keep the press positive that the women in this sport are cool. We are! :)
We rode for 3.5 hours and I don't know if it was the heat or what, but I hadn't struggled like that (aerobically) in a very long time. Not for a ride that short. The last 30:00 was a suffer-fest for me and I rolled my eyes at how out of shape I am right now. Nothing I can do about it but try to fix it, but man it is very humbling. I shook my head at how difficult this course seemed when it had never been too challenging in the past. Oye!
Nearing the end of the ride I yelled to my handsome chariot of men some thanks for riding with me. We all had a nice ride on a beautiful, sunny day.
I was stretching my painful back on the asphalt by my car when one of the guys came over to me and thanked me for riding with them. No, the thanks was mine - they all helped me so much, I replied. He then said, "It was great to get to meet you. I had heard how nice you are but today I got to see it for myself."
I smiled at his comment as I drove home. Most of the time it's weird for me to think that people even know who I am.... and it's hard to know what the perception of me is, or how accurate people's perception of me is. When I'm around others I am myself. I do not put on airs and graces, it is what it is that day. I always try to be nice, I am most often funny... but, like anyone, I have bad days, I unintentionally can put my foot in my mouth, I unknowingly can hurt feelings in an effort to be funny, and sometimes can seem stand-offish (when maybe I am just completely wiped out?). I try to be a positive, helpful person in our sport... but like all of us, I am human, too... and you never know what you're really doing for people. As I continue to discern my future in this sport, and my impending retirement, I constantly call upon myself to ask if I'll be leaving some small portion of triathlon a little better because I have been a part of it. ? If I can help make a ride more enjoyable for people, or help them survive the swim, or make them laugh before the start of a race to calm them down... if I can leave a positive mark - I will then feel I have done my best work.
May 27, 2008
May 18, 2008
The west is calling......
Not so good news with my body. A few days of varied training, some days not so bad... then mid-week I rode with my friend Bethany and had one of the most painful rides I have experienced to date. I don't want to say it was the worst one as there have been some doozy's, but it was certainly among the worst. Since then I've been icing, stretching, and sighing heavily a lot.
I saw Josh Glass the day after my ride and he said I was completely locked up, and just a mess... he planned to call Dr Mautner (they work closely together) to discuss continued intervention with my treatment. I truly appreciate that my caregivers are not giving up on me.
It is hard for me to understand why this is so difficult to diagnose and treat. I can appreciate that what is going on is the (likely) result of years of damage done.... then you add to it a crash which breaks half my body... then top it off with several weeks of complete bed-ridden inactivity - to affect with atrophy. I get all of that. What I do not get is why/how things continue to get worse. ??
Not better I understand. Only slight improvement I could tolerate. But WORSE? How does something get worse when you are only doing things meant to improve it? This is probably the part that most confuses me. And I think it's valid.
In other much happier news, I've been busy preparing for my move to Boulder. I'll be leaving in a couple weeks and am very excited to shake up my life a bit and try something different. Calling Boulder "home" I know will be an awesome experience, and good for me on a lot of levels. From my training stints there in previous summers I have managed to make a nice group of friends, all of whom have been so welcoming with news of my impending move. The last couple of months I have received consistent emails, text messages and phone calls ... "Can't wait until you get here!" or "We are counting down!" or "It will be so great to have you here!" All of those messages have been so wonderful and I feel blessed to be going to a place I already feel is home, with people I already feel are friends.
I'm not sure if I'll be able to train when I get there. Certainly that was the original intent - but as of now things aren't looking so good. It's hard to think about being in triathlon paradise and not being able to take advantage of it. But Colorado is such an outdoor, active culture... if I can't swim, bike or run - I will find something else to do. I keep positive thoughts coming and keep smiling when reading a text Monica Byrn sent me a month ago: "Boulder is great for healing... See you soon!"
I could use some healing...
Cheers!
I saw Josh Glass the day after my ride and he said I was completely locked up, and just a mess... he planned to call Dr Mautner (they work closely together) to discuss continued intervention with my treatment. I truly appreciate that my caregivers are not giving up on me.
It is hard for me to understand why this is so difficult to diagnose and treat. I can appreciate that what is going on is the (likely) result of years of damage done.... then you add to it a crash which breaks half my body... then top it off with several weeks of complete bed-ridden inactivity - to affect with atrophy. I get all of that. What I do not get is why/how things continue to get worse. ??
Not better I understand. Only slight improvement I could tolerate. But WORSE? How does something get worse when you are only doing things meant to improve it? This is probably the part that most confuses me. And I think it's valid.
In other much happier news, I've been busy preparing for my move to Boulder. I'll be leaving in a couple weeks and am very excited to shake up my life a bit and try something different. Calling Boulder "home" I know will be an awesome experience, and good for me on a lot of levels. From my training stints there in previous summers I have managed to make a nice group of friends, all of whom have been so welcoming with news of my impending move. The last couple of months I have received consistent emails, text messages and phone calls ... "Can't wait until you get here!" or "We are counting down!" or "It will be so great to have you here!" All of those messages have been so wonderful and I feel blessed to be going to a place I already feel is home, with people I already feel are friends.
I'm not sure if I'll be able to train when I get there. Certainly that was the original intent - but as of now things aren't looking so good. It's hard to think about being in triathlon paradise and not being able to take advantage of it. But Colorado is such an outdoor, active culture... if I can't swim, bike or run - I will find something else to do. I keep positive thoughts coming and keep smiling when reading a text Monica Byrn sent me a month ago: "Boulder is great for healing... See you soon!"
I could use some healing...
Cheers!
May 13, 2008
Some things are worth repeating...
“Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds.”
- Orison Swett Marden -
- Orison Swett Marden -
May 11, 2008
What a fun weekend!
Saturday was an all-women's sprint triathlon here in Atlanta. A few weeks ago I had called the race director, Chuck Dunlop, asking if he needed a "last place finisher" for his race. This is something I have always done for RD Jim Rainey for his all-women's race in August and I consider it an honor to get to bring all the women in, ensuring no one finishes last (but me). I think races like this are intended to focus on the spirit of the race, to get people off the couch, and motivate people (women) to be better than they were before; to do more than they thought they could.
It was awesome. I loved looping around the women and getting to spend some brief minutes with each of them to encourage them to keep going. Among them, I met a woman named Meredith who had conquered cancer, a women who just survived a divorce and lost 70lbs, and a women who had just given birth 6 months earlier to her first baby. Talk about being an inspiration! I felt humbled. All of the dozens of women were so kind to me, and so appreciative that I was running with them ---- but the honor was mine. Truly. It's easy to do things that are 'easy'. But to each of these women, their struggle out there on that course reflected bigger things. I always think these races help to show people that they can do more than they think they can. As I ran the last women in, crossing behind them, I felt thrilled for them, and grateful to have been able to help them on this journey, if even in a tiny way.
These are the ways that I feel I am best able to give back to the sport, to give back to people. I hope I did this.
The only negative part of my day was the pain I was in with my back. Normally my back doesn't hurt when running, but this day it did. I think I hid it pretty well ... I wanted the attention on the women and not on my injuries. Though I definitely took a beating, it was worth it and I would go through it again in a second to help any one of the women I met that day.
That night my crazy friend Dana recruited me to be a chaperon for her friend, Sterling's, 14-year old son's birthday party. I thought it was ironic that I was asked to be a rule enforcer at this thing. Wasn't I always the one in trouble growing up?? There were 50+ teenagers running around the spacious mansion and pool grounds, so Dana, Sterling and I had our hands full making certain all activity was appropriate. I couldn't help laughing at myself - when did I become the ADULT? :)
This morning I woke up intending to ride a few hours with some friends. I am continuing to try to add exercise in to my daily routine to see what happens. With the tornado warnings and storm reports today, we decided to ride indoors, so I went to ATS and rode with Andy and Tony while we watched, "Superbad". Man, what a movie. :)
I rode for about 2 hours and though I was not producing any respectable power with watts, I got off the bike without the normal pain I feel. It was a little tight but it really want not bad at all. I have no explanation for this given the pain I felt yesterday, or why this ride day felt ok when riding is normally what hurts the most... but I'll take the good day!
I plan to try to get in a 10-hour training week this week to see what happens...
I refuse to let myself get too excited just because of one good day, but I'm interested to see what my body can handle.
Cheers!
Saturday was an all-women's sprint triathlon here in Atlanta. A few weeks ago I had called the race director, Chuck Dunlop, asking if he needed a "last place finisher" for his race. This is something I have always done for RD Jim Rainey for his all-women's race in August and I consider it an honor to get to bring all the women in, ensuring no one finishes last (but me). I think races like this are intended to focus on the spirit of the race, to get people off the couch, and motivate people (women) to be better than they were before; to do more than they thought they could.
It was awesome. I loved looping around the women and getting to spend some brief minutes with each of them to encourage them to keep going. Among them, I met a woman named Meredith who had conquered cancer, a women who just survived a divorce and lost 70lbs, and a women who had just given birth 6 months earlier to her first baby. Talk about being an inspiration! I felt humbled. All of the dozens of women were so kind to me, and so appreciative that I was running with them ---- but the honor was mine. Truly. It's easy to do things that are 'easy'. But to each of these women, their struggle out there on that course reflected bigger things. I always think these races help to show people that they can do more than they think they can. As I ran the last women in, crossing behind them, I felt thrilled for them, and grateful to have been able to help them on this journey, if even in a tiny way.
These are the ways that I feel I am best able to give back to the sport, to give back to people. I hope I did this.
The only negative part of my day was the pain I was in with my back. Normally my back doesn't hurt when running, but this day it did. I think I hid it pretty well ... I wanted the attention on the women and not on my injuries. Though I definitely took a beating, it was worth it and I would go through it again in a second to help any one of the women I met that day.
That night my crazy friend Dana recruited me to be a chaperon for her friend, Sterling's, 14-year old son's birthday party. I thought it was ironic that I was asked to be a rule enforcer at this thing. Wasn't I always the one in trouble growing up?? There were 50+ teenagers running around the spacious mansion and pool grounds, so Dana, Sterling and I had our hands full making certain all activity was appropriate. I couldn't help laughing at myself - when did I become the ADULT? :)
This morning I woke up intending to ride a few hours with some friends. I am continuing to try to add exercise in to my daily routine to see what happens. With the tornado warnings and storm reports today, we decided to ride indoors, so I went to ATS and rode with Andy and Tony while we watched, "Superbad". Man, what a movie. :)
I rode for about 2 hours and though I was not producing any respectable power with watts, I got off the bike without the normal pain I feel. It was a little tight but it really want not bad at all. I have no explanation for this given the pain I felt yesterday, or why this ride day felt ok when riding is normally what hurts the most... but I'll take the good day!
I plan to try to get in a 10-hour training week this week to see what happens...
I refuse to let myself get too excited just because of one good day, but I'm interested to see what my body can handle.
Cheers!
May 9, 2008
Status Quo
So, I went for the shot last week. Like most things, my anxiety about it and the fear of the unknown was worse than the reality.... but it was still NOT fun.
My crazy friend Dana went with me and lovingly held my hand during the whole procedure. I kept apologizing for being such a baby; my face was completely flushed and Dana said she could tell I was really anxious. "I can't believe I am being such a baby as I hold the hand of a woman who has given birth to two children!", I whined. But Dana was quite empathetic and felt my anxiety with my needle phobia.
I was on my stomach, unable to see anything that was happening to my back - and thank GOD for that. I kept my face buried in my arm as Dana kept saying, "Squeeze my hand!" She loves medical procedures and a couple times said, "OH, that's cool!", referring to the ultra sound screen which showed the 7 inch needle going completely into my spine. Uggg.
It's been over a week and so far everything is status quo. I've been on a few rides, one was 3 hours, and I dismounted to the same pain/discomfort. It is perhaps slightly better, but not by much.
I'd been told this injection was the magic bullet if there was one. If it worked I'd know it pretty definitively. Dr Mautner is a bit concerned that there have been no improvements. We both agree that we're about out of moves...
Tomorrow I am doing an all-women's sprint in Atlanta. I'm the designated last place finisher, which I LOVE. I love running back and forth amid the women and bringing then in to the finish line, then heading back out for more. I love finishing last for a race like that so NO woman feels like they were last. It'll be a fun race, and nice fo rme to be out there moving with people again.
I'll report in how the back holds up...
My crazy friend Dana went with me and lovingly held my hand during the whole procedure. I kept apologizing for being such a baby; my face was completely flushed and Dana said she could tell I was really anxious. "I can't believe I am being such a baby as I hold the hand of a woman who has given birth to two children!", I whined. But Dana was quite empathetic and felt my anxiety with my needle phobia.
I was on my stomach, unable to see anything that was happening to my back - and thank GOD for that. I kept my face buried in my arm as Dana kept saying, "Squeeze my hand!" She loves medical procedures and a couple times said, "OH, that's cool!", referring to the ultra sound screen which showed the 7 inch needle going completely into my spine. Uggg.
It's been over a week and so far everything is status quo. I've been on a few rides, one was 3 hours, and I dismounted to the same pain/discomfort. It is perhaps slightly better, but not by much.
I'd been told this injection was the magic bullet if there was one. If it worked I'd know it pretty definitively. Dr Mautner is a bit concerned that there have been no improvements. We both agree that we're about out of moves...
Tomorrow I am doing an all-women's sprint in Atlanta. I'm the designated last place finisher, which I LOVE. I love running back and forth amid the women and bringing then in to the finish line, then heading back out for more. I love finishing last for a race like that so NO woman feels like they were last. It'll be a fun race, and nice fo rme to be out there moving with people again.
I'll report in how the back holds up...
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