No, I am not talking about my no-longer-lean frame, although the title works for this, too. :)
I rode yesterday with Wylie, Trey and his friend, Corlie... rain and even occasional thunder for most of it. At 6:30a it was raining, not hard but it was raining, and doppler radar showed thunderstorms rolling in. I made a face and called Wylie and Trey, encouraging them to bail with me. They weren't having it - "it's just a light drizzle" Wylie said, and Trey (and Corlie) were already in their cars heading to the ride start. Ug.
Alright, I was in. Was this ME??! There was a time in the not-so-distant past (though it seems like forever) when I wouldn't have even considered canceling. I yelled at myself for having become such a wuss. "You're riding!", I said to myself, disgusted in my lack of discipline.
So Trey, Corlie, Wylie and I pushed off a little before 8a. This was the 5th time I have been on the bike since October 4. We had a few portions of the ride where the sun peaked in and the rain ceased, but mostly it just rained, and rained. Early on Corlie made the remark, "If we were 4 years old, this would be fun." I thought that was really funny, so I kept saying that phrase every time something icky happened:
If we got splashed by a huge puddle when a truck rode by, "If we were 4, this would be fun!";
If we heard thunder and the rain came down harder, "If we were 4, this would be fun!" .... you get the idea.
We rode for 4.5 hours and I really enjoyed it, much to my surprise. I'm completely out of shape but that is to be expected, and I really didn't mind the time just riding in zone 1. I just happily rode along, not really caring about my current fitness. I had spoken with Wingnut (Wendy Ingraham) recently and how out of shape I obviously had become... as I pedaled along I heard her saying in my head, "Just ride your bike, Carole".
My new Trek bike from Timex is SWEEEEEEET and it was the first time since 2006 I have been on the bike and actually just enjoyed riding. I used to love it... then I grew to absolutely hate it ... yesterday I felt the spark of loving to ride again. That was nice, and surprising. Even in the rain I actually enjoyed it. What a gift!!!
I had to stop to stretch a lot and my back was hurting pretty bad during the ride, and when I dismounted at the end I just about cried because it hurt so bad. :( The usual deal - I was hunched over, unable to stand and it took a while to align my body just to a basic standing posture. Insane. It ached for the remainder of the day until I took 3 Tylenol PM at night to relieve pain and help me sleep. So, pain notwithstanding, I was enjoying the ride. :)
I am eager more than ever for the shot this Wednesday... there is no way I could train like this - and there is NO WAY I could really run off the bike like that. I am planning to ride on Wed before the shot. I want my back to be as inflamed as possible so Dr M has the reality to work with. It is as bad as ever, so he'll be getting the real deal.
Dr Brian (my best friend and ER doctor in the Bronx) encouraged me to ask for Lidocaine to numb the area first ... uggg - hell YES! :)
Hopefully this will do something....
I'll report in at some point.
April 28, 2008
April 25, 2008
Timex Mafia
I've been loving having my teammates, Erin Kummer and Bruce Gennari, here at my house before they head for their xterra race Saturday morning. Their race is about an hour from Atlanta, so Erin flew in from Boulder, Bruce drove in from Nashville. We've been laughing, teasing and bickering like siblings. It's been fun!!!
April 23, 2008
Bring on the needle!
This past weekend I went to CT to celebrate my aunt's 100th birthday. 100 years old?! Man. About 30 of my aunts, uncles and cousins assembled from all over the country to be there for this auspicious event.
My Aunt Jeannette is one of 11 children, the sister of my maternal grandfather. She was/is my mother's godmother and is the only one of the 11 children still living. Amazing how alert and self sufficient she is at 100 years old... she lives alone and needs very little help, "except putting on her stockings", she'll point out.
I arrived early Saturday afternoon at my cousin Terry's. I was the last of us to arrive and walked into the hurricane, the frenzy of activity known as my family. :) Terry's house was filled with our family members, and it was SO LOUD! Very expressive conversations, physical gestures, laugher, children running at top speeds all around, and a table FULL with trays of meatballs, stuffed shells and manicotti. I took a moment to take it all in ... and laughed to myself as I shook my head. It is so much easier to understand myself when seeing my family. This Italian group is LOUD, loving, expressive and loves to eat! :) These people most definitely share my blood.
After hugging and kissing everyone inside, I made my way to the backyard to get tackled by all the kids ... and then tried to rally a family football game to rival the Kennedy reunions. Once I get some pics I'll try to post a couple.
Before the Connecticut weekend I had spent a couple days on the bike, and have been running consistently, too, since then. Since I am signed up for the injection (April 30) anyway I decided I couldn't make things worse, so I may as way deal with this growing weight problem. While I normally hasten to use the word 'pain', the past few days I have bordered on using it to describe the result of my recent indulgence with movement. The pain is so isolated, so specific - I can pinpoint exactly where it hurts on my lower back... with such specificity in location I am so frustrated by how hard it has been to help correct everything.
I have never been one who handles needles well, but I can honestly say I am eager to give this a try next week. It is the one thing I haven't tried and I've got to believe that medication designed to reduce extreme inflammation can only help. ?
God give me the strength to see clearly and be patient.
My Aunt Jeannette is one of 11 children, the sister of my maternal grandfather. She was/is my mother's godmother and is the only one of the 11 children still living. Amazing how alert and self sufficient she is at 100 years old... she lives alone and needs very little help, "except putting on her stockings", she'll point out.
I arrived early Saturday afternoon at my cousin Terry's. I was the last of us to arrive and walked into the hurricane, the frenzy of activity known as my family. :) Terry's house was filled with our family members, and it was SO LOUD! Very expressive conversations, physical gestures, laugher, children running at top speeds all around, and a table FULL with trays of meatballs, stuffed shells and manicotti. I took a moment to take it all in ... and laughed to myself as I shook my head. It is so much easier to understand myself when seeing my family. This Italian group is LOUD, loving, expressive and loves to eat! :) These people most definitely share my blood.
After hugging and kissing everyone inside, I made my way to the backyard to get tackled by all the kids ... and then tried to rally a family football game to rival the Kennedy reunions. Once I get some pics I'll try to post a couple.
Before the Connecticut weekend I had spent a couple days on the bike, and have been running consistently, too, since then. Since I am signed up for the injection (April 30) anyway I decided I couldn't make things worse, so I may as way deal with this growing weight problem. While I normally hasten to use the word 'pain', the past few days I have bordered on using it to describe the result of my recent indulgence with movement. The pain is so isolated, so specific - I can pinpoint exactly where it hurts on my lower back... with such specificity in location I am so frustrated by how hard it has been to help correct everything.
I have never been one who handles needles well, but I can honestly say I am eager to give this a try next week. It is the one thing I haven't tried and I've got to believe that medication designed to reduce extreme inflammation can only help. ?
God give me the strength to see clearly and be patient.
April 17, 2008
Olympic Trials and the back
I hope you’ll join me in rooting on JZ, either in-person or sentimentally, at Olympic Trials this weekend. I realize she’s my friend so I’m going to seem slightly biased in my support, but she so truly deserves a spot on that team, representing our country. I think all the women (and men) have worked hard; they all have sacrificed. But few people realize what JZ went through after Sydney. The woman was out for 3 years with her back injury. 3 YEARS. The rest of us flip-out when we are out for weeks or months, JZ endured years of very painful mobility, rehab, and the resolve that she would likely never race again. Instead of giving in, she continued to fight – and she came back!. That is just SO her – it is hard not to support that spirit. While some rely on their DNA, and she clearly has God-given talent, I can tell you I have never seen anyone work harder than she does. Every day.
Go JZ, GO!
I rode today... it was a beautiful 70 degrees ..... I dismounted the bike to feel the same pain I have always felt. No improvement despite unending work and intervention. The discomfort was enormous (again, I hasten to use "pain" as a descriptor). I laid down on the asphalt to stretch my body ...and cried. I can't think of any more I can possibly be doing to help myself.
But I’m continuing to try to find something. I’m realizing strongly and with great certainty that I am beaten up quite nicely. My body is a primary vehicle for which my internal happiness is ensured. Without which, I know no direction. It's all so primal to me. There comes a point in training, and the interjection of an injury, where the body knows too clearly that it is hurt beyond use. It isn’t the familiar twinge, the cracking joint, or the popping tendon sound. It is a point in time which utterly concedes to mortal demands. I remember this moment when I knew I was hurt beyond use, when I truly knew for certain: the bike ride in Boulder (in my September 2007 blog) 2 weeks before the crash in Kona. As I reached Jamestown at the top of the climb, I dismounted my bike, unable to pedal any more and in extreme pain. This wasn't when it all began. Issues with my back first started in 2005. But this moment at Jamestown is when I knew it had ended.
Once I am fully recovered... if I get fully recovered .... I hope with all my heart I never know that moment again.
"A champion is someone who gets up, even when he can't."
~ Jack Dempsey
Go JZ, GO!
I rode today... it was a beautiful 70 degrees ..... I dismounted the bike to feel the same pain I have always felt. No improvement despite unending work and intervention. The discomfort was enormous (again, I hasten to use "pain" as a descriptor). I laid down on the asphalt to stretch my body ...and cried. I can't think of any more I can possibly be doing to help myself.
But I’m continuing to try to find something. I’m realizing strongly and with great certainty that I am beaten up quite nicely. My body is a primary vehicle for which my internal happiness is ensured. Without which, I know no direction. It's all so primal to me. There comes a point in training, and the interjection of an injury, where the body knows too clearly that it is hurt beyond use. It isn’t the familiar twinge, the cracking joint, or the popping tendon sound. It is a point in time which utterly concedes to mortal demands. I remember this moment when I knew I was hurt beyond use, when I truly knew for certain: the bike ride in Boulder (in my September 2007 blog) 2 weeks before the crash in Kona. As I reached Jamestown at the top of the climb, I dismounted my bike, unable to pedal any more and in extreme pain. This wasn't when it all began. Issues with my back first started in 2005. But this moment at Jamestown is when I knew it had ended.
Once I am fully recovered... if I get fully recovered .... I hope with all my heart I never know that moment again.
"A champion is someone who gets up, even when he can't."
~ Jack Dempsey
April 11, 2008
Training Day At Hand
It’s strange to have Ironman season upon us again. IM Arizona is this weekend and I can’t believe it. I can’t believe how much time has lapsed as I continue to be in the same place, little-to-no improvement. :(
I sent a little note to Gollnick and Biscay to wish them luck, and felt an odd twinge of envy. Typically I don’t feel this when others are racing something I am not, but this time I wished I was going to be there, too… or perhaps just have the option to race if I wanted.
I also got an update email earlier in the week from Karen Holloway who told me she is 5 months pregnant! Apparently she found something else to do while nursing her stress fracture! :) Congratulations to her and her husband, Chris. That is awesome news.
So… I’m beginning to think I need to harden up. Step up to the plate.
Stop being so soft with this recovery jigsaw puzzle.
I noticed something yesterday. On Tuesday I swam 3k, biked 1.5 hours at a pathetically slow pace and walked for 20:00. On Wednesday I ran for 30:00. On Thursday (yesterday) I took a day off from activity (although still did rehab exercises) to allow my body to absorb some of this “exercise”. Here’s what I noticed: each of these nights I needed to ice my back; each of these nights the discomfort woke me from sleep and I needed to draw my knees to my chest. No day was different from any other.
Are you getting the point here?
It doesn’t seem to matter what I do or don’t do, the outcome is the same. So why not just have at it?? That's what I'm thinking.
Next week I’ve decided I'm going for the injection. I’ve chatted with my various cohorts and everyone seems to agree it’s time to give this a try. If healing is being impeded due to inflammation, let’s see what happens when the inflammation is reduced. I’m apprehensive, as I have mentioned before, at going for the synthetic healing; the magic band-aid. If my back continues to be inflamed, something is causing it. If I take medicine (injection) simply to take away the inflammation but the root cause isn’t being treated, won’t the inflammation just return? But… what the hell… let’s give it a try.
My mood fluctuates exponentially. My fatigue level rises antithetically to my mood. If the mood is positive, the fatigue is negative. In short, since I can’t train now, this puts me either smack in the middle of a stress cyclone, or at the tail end of a put-me-to-bed-for-three days coma.
I need to be DOING SOMETHING. Damn the torpedoes and F the icebergs. This sounds more like me anyway.
Since I’m getting the injection anyway, may as well give them something to work with. Tomorrow I’m planning to ride for 2.5 hours, my longest ride since the Kona crash. I’ll report in how it goes.
I keep getting knocked down, but I’m going to continue to get up. And once I get up for good, I’m not going back down. Of this I am certain.
Cheers.
I sent a little note to Gollnick and Biscay to wish them luck, and felt an odd twinge of envy. Typically I don’t feel this when others are racing something I am not, but this time I wished I was going to be there, too… or perhaps just have the option to race if I wanted.
I also got an update email earlier in the week from Karen Holloway who told me she is 5 months pregnant! Apparently she found something else to do while nursing her stress fracture! :) Congratulations to her and her husband, Chris. That is awesome news.
So… I’m beginning to think I need to harden up. Step up to the plate.
Stop being so soft with this recovery jigsaw puzzle.
I noticed something yesterday. On Tuesday I swam 3k, biked 1.5 hours at a pathetically slow pace and walked for 20:00. On Wednesday I ran for 30:00. On Thursday (yesterday) I took a day off from activity (although still did rehab exercises) to allow my body to absorb some of this “exercise”. Here’s what I noticed: each of these nights I needed to ice my back; each of these nights the discomfort woke me from sleep and I needed to draw my knees to my chest. No day was different from any other.
Are you getting the point here?
It doesn’t seem to matter what I do or don’t do, the outcome is the same. So why not just have at it?? That's what I'm thinking.
Next week I’ve decided I'm going for the injection. I’ve chatted with my various cohorts and everyone seems to agree it’s time to give this a try. If healing is being impeded due to inflammation, let’s see what happens when the inflammation is reduced. I’m apprehensive, as I have mentioned before, at going for the synthetic healing; the magic band-aid. If my back continues to be inflamed, something is causing it. If I take medicine (injection) simply to take away the inflammation but the root cause isn’t being treated, won’t the inflammation just return? But… what the hell… let’s give it a try.
My mood fluctuates exponentially. My fatigue level rises antithetically to my mood. If the mood is positive, the fatigue is negative. In short, since I can’t train now, this puts me either smack in the middle of a stress cyclone, or at the tail end of a put-me-to-bed-for-three days coma.
I need to be DOING SOMETHING. Damn the torpedoes and F the icebergs. This sounds more like me anyway.
Since I’m getting the injection anyway, may as well give them something to work with. Tomorrow I’m planning to ride for 2.5 hours, my longest ride since the Kona crash. I’ll report in how it goes.
I keep getting knocked down, but I’m going to continue to get up. And once I get up for good, I’m not going back down. Of this I am certain.
Cheers.
April 9, 2008
April 7, 2008
Some memories of Timex Team Camp 2008
I may have several posts to get several different stories... I'm also awaiting photos from Gennari, so I can post some in another update.
Be warned that while 'some' of my teammates may refrain from retelling the tales, or may use the g-rated versions in doing so, I am not so contained. Consider yourself warned, now. If you proceed in reading, you'll get some of the real dish.
I should have known everything would go south at the moment I was picked up at the San Diego airport. Everyone else was either racing the Oceanside 70.3 or arriving on later flights, so it was just me for the first pick-up shift.
I see our team manager, Tristan, in the truck at baggage and wave to him in typical Sharpie fashion: enthusiastically screaming and motioning with my whole body, jumping up and down. Tristan laughs as he pulls over, jumps out to scoop me up in a huge hug as we load up the truck. We had about 30:00 before we had to return to pick up the next shift of Bruce and Roger, so we had some time to kill. "Ummm, we could go do a shot?", I suggested. With zero hesitation, Tristan screeched that truck in a u-turn to get to a side road with restaurants. I was laughing at his fearless quest. We bolted in towards the bar, ordered a round, chug-a-lugged and then got back in the truck to get Bruce and Roger ..... and upon doing so, the 4 of us had various unprintable discussions as we sat in the formidable Southern California traffic en route to our team lodging. "What happens in the truck, stays in the truck", quipped Gennari.
Naked Relay
No other Timex member will have the courage to write about this. I do. :)
I have no idea what time it was on night #2. 12:30am? We had arrived back at the hotel after our team dinner... (this dinner will be retold in another blog!) .... most everyone was wasted. At least the 13 that were at our table were. :)
I am not sure how it happened, but somehow after dinner a group of us ended up at the outdoor pool, somehow taunting each other with bravado of a relay championship -- guys against girls. And, SOMEHOW, I am not sure how THIS happened, either, but they became "The Naked Relay Championship".
Bruce Gennari tells this story the BEST, but I will try to tell it the way he does...
5 girls versus 5 guys. I'll have to withhold some of the names because some of my teammates are lame and don't want to be named publicly. But some of us are losers and don't care. :)
Girls in lane 2, guys in lane 3. It was really dark out, the only lights were the dim surrounding lights of the spacious deck, so it wasn't like it was a massive exhibitionist display. But, still, there we all were: the pride of Timex. :)
The girls (me, Cindi, Emily and 2 others) huddled up, yanked off our suits and in quick plot decided to just GO right that second leaving the guys unprepared. So off we all went, our pod of 5, swimming as fast as we could with our suits in our hands. I was giggling my brains out trying to pull our group along.
The guys (Bruce, Roger, Ian, Kyle, and another unnamed), according to Bruce, got all huffy that we had just false started. What is hilarious, as Bruce recalls, is what happened next. Instead of watching 5 women swimming naked, they got all competitive and serious. "Hey, they just went!!!" All 5 naked guys, competitive and angry, went chasing after us, intent on winning...
Of course the girls won (our false start was a serious help) and quickly put our suits back on .... but funnier were the jokes about this. All the guys were so mad at themselves for not recognizing the opportunity before them. Kyle Marcotte said, "We're such idiots! Why didn't we just watch?!!?" Roger added, "We got all competitive and chased them! What was wrong with us!!??" Everyone was roaring with laughter.
We all laughed hysterically at this.... and you'd better believe the jokes were rampant in the days following ...
More soon... but we'll start with this.
Be warned that while 'some' of my teammates may refrain from retelling the tales, or may use the g-rated versions in doing so, I am not so contained. Consider yourself warned, now. If you proceed in reading, you'll get some of the real dish.
I should have known everything would go south at the moment I was picked up at the San Diego airport. Everyone else was either racing the Oceanside 70.3 or arriving on later flights, so it was just me for the first pick-up shift.
I see our team manager, Tristan, in the truck at baggage and wave to him in typical Sharpie fashion: enthusiastically screaming and motioning with my whole body, jumping up and down. Tristan laughs as he pulls over, jumps out to scoop me up in a huge hug as we load up the truck. We had about 30:00 before we had to return to pick up the next shift of Bruce and Roger, so we had some time to kill. "Ummm, we could go do a shot?", I suggested. With zero hesitation, Tristan screeched that truck in a u-turn to get to a side road with restaurants. I was laughing at his fearless quest. We bolted in towards the bar, ordered a round, chug-a-lugged and then got back in the truck to get Bruce and Roger ..... and upon doing so, the 4 of us had various unprintable discussions as we sat in the formidable Southern California traffic en route to our team lodging. "What happens in the truck, stays in the truck", quipped Gennari.
Naked Relay
No other Timex member will have the courage to write about this. I do. :)
I have no idea what time it was on night #2. 12:30am? We had arrived back at the hotel after our team dinner... (this dinner will be retold in another blog!) .... most everyone was wasted. At least the 13 that were at our table were. :)
I am not sure how it happened, but somehow after dinner a group of us ended up at the outdoor pool, somehow taunting each other with bravado of a relay championship -- guys against girls. And, SOMEHOW, I am not sure how THIS happened, either, but they became "The Naked Relay Championship".
Bruce Gennari tells this story the BEST, but I will try to tell it the way he does...
5 girls versus 5 guys. I'll have to withhold some of the names because some of my teammates are lame and don't want to be named publicly. But some of us are losers and don't care. :)
Girls in lane 2, guys in lane 3. It was really dark out, the only lights were the dim surrounding lights of the spacious deck, so it wasn't like it was a massive exhibitionist display. But, still, there we all were: the pride of Timex. :)
The girls (me, Cindi, Emily and 2 others) huddled up, yanked off our suits and in quick plot decided to just GO right that second leaving the guys unprepared. So off we all went, our pod of 5, swimming as fast as we could with our suits in our hands. I was giggling my brains out trying to pull our group along.
The guys (Bruce, Roger, Ian, Kyle, and another unnamed), according to Bruce, got all huffy that we had just false started. What is hilarious, as Bruce recalls, is what happened next. Instead of watching 5 women swimming naked, they got all competitive and serious. "Hey, they just went!!!" All 5 naked guys, competitive and angry, went chasing after us, intent on winning...
Of course the girls won (our false start was a serious help) and quickly put our suits back on .... but funnier were the jokes about this. All the guys were so mad at themselves for not recognizing the opportunity before them. Kyle Marcotte said, "We're such idiots! Why didn't we just watch?!!?" Roger added, "We got all competitive and chased them! What was wrong with us!!??" Everyone was roaring with laughter.
We all laughed hysterically at this.... and you'd better believe the jokes were rampant in the days following ...
More soon... but we'll start with this.
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